Fear Not

Last night I stayed alone in a house in the woods.  When I got hungry and went to the kitchen for a snack I noticed a light coming through the kitchen window.  I looked closer and saw what appeared to be a flashlight shining at the house and into the window directly at me.

I immediately felt my heart race and my mind go into overload.  I was facing pure terror in that moment where my mind was saying there was someone outside trying to break in.  I felt so weak and vulnerable.  Would this intruder kill me? Would I kill him with a girlish scream that gives him a heart attack?

I checked with the owner of the house to see if there was supposed to be a night watchman and he said no.  I began looking out of different windows trying to get a better angle on things.

Having been in law enforcement for over 20 years, you would think that my police officer instinct would take over and kick in.  BUT, since retirement earlier this year, I have truly embodied the part of being a girl in need of a man's protection.

I finally figured out that it was a light affixed to a small tree by the window.  The light was swaying a bit in the wind and appeared to be an intruder.  My nerves were calmed but my mind wasn't.

Satan will use everything he can to throw or minds off track.  When our minds are in fear we lose the focus we should have on our number one protector. God is our ultimate body guard.  He has said not to fear that He will take care of us.  Genesis 15:1 says "Some time later, the LORD spoke to Abrams in a vision and said to him, 'Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.'"

I must admit that I felt really silly after figuring out what the light really was.  Satan had my mind going a thousand miles a minute saying I didn't trust God.  Well, he was right.  I didn't trust God at that very moment because I let my own abilities, to deal with situation, try and take control.  However, I realized quickly after it happened that Satan was trying to get in my head and that I had to ask God to forgive me and do better in the future.  So I did.  I prayed that God would forgive me for not trusting Him for EVERYTHING and asked for further protection through the night.

If I failed to trust God in this silly moment, where else am I lacking the trust that He expects?  It was certainly a life lesson.  God WILL take care of is.  We shouldn't be scared to live or to die.  He has a plan for us.  He will carry it out if we just trust and obey. 

Sometimes we learn valuable lessons in things that make us feel so inadequate.  Our own abilities are so inferior to God's.  When we learn to follow, the way God instructed, we will see how peaceful and heavenly this life, this side of Heaven, can be.