Pride

Have you ever avoided a place, a situation, a person because you were afraid they were going to judge you for something or think less of you?  I  have to say that I have never been one to avoid situations.  I have always faced it head on but with worry.  I sometimes find myself worrying about how I would handle the judgemental people in my life.

My dear friend, pride is the reason for the worry. We worry about what other people will say or think because we don't want them to see our weaknesses. It makes us very vulnerable.  Pride will keep us isolated and eventually destroy us. 

This is what God says about pride-"Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall." Proverbs 16:18.  Pride means we think too highly of ourselves.  God expects us to be humble.  He k ows we will stumble. He expects us to use our weaknesses for His glory.  How can we show His redemptive power if we don't demonstrate how we've been redeemed?!?

God allows us to have weaknesses.  He allows us to make mistakes.  He allows for the stumbling.  It's not because He wants us to be viewed as less of a person, dirty or weak.  He wants us to be viewed as worthy because of Him.  Clean because of Him. Strong because of His strength.

The people that stand in judgement, the ones that you avoid...they are full of pride.  They are afraid of their weaknesses.  They point our mistakes and judge you for your weaknesses because it makes them feel better about themselves.  As they point out your flaws, they somehow think they are covering their's.

God wants us to love one another in spite of our flaws.  He hates pride because pride is when you think that you are better than others.  We NONE deserve anything.  We are NONE better than one another.  God expects us to learn from our weaknesses and teach others from them.  If we hide behind pride, we aren't doing what we are meant to do.

I have had pride that has caused me to stumble but have found it so much easier to be open with my brokenness in order to help others.  No, I don't believe you should do a tell all announcement of all of your weaknesses and stumbles but let the Holy Spirit guide you to telling those that need to hear.  Let Him use you to help others.

They did me wrong

The other day I sat and listened as someone made the statement that they trust someone they met at a bar more than the church people. He continued saying that the church people let you down and do you wrong.  What I heard played games with my heart because he had a point. Not a happy one-but a point.

From the world's view the people of the world can be trusted more.  They appear unflawed and have it all together.  FROM A WORLDLY STAND POINT.  If we look at them with honest God vision, we can see the brokenness that they hide behind the  alcohol and wall of self-preservation.

Here's the thing...worldly people that are not living for God won't cause you the upset in your life that Christians will.  Oh wow...did I just say that?!? Satan doesn't mess with them. He already has them where he wants them.  He doesn't see them as a threat to his plans.  If they aren't following the will of God, they won't further the Kingdom of God. The problem is...Satan doesn't want us in fellowship with God or each other through Christ.

Satan's goal is to tear down the church.  I don't mean the building, I am talking about the unity within the marriage of people to God through fellowship.   Why do you think so many marriages are failing? Just like regular husband-wife marriage, God expects us to be unified in Him.  The church should share the same unification within God's will. 

Satan is a number one killer of marriages and relationships within the church.  He will deceive people into all kinds of sin causing a strain on God's family.  Satan doesn't worry about the people that he knows are not a threat.  Now I am not saying that if you hang out at a bar you aren't a child of God-what I am saying is that if you are expecting church family to be perfect like the people you see covering their problems with alcohol, well, they aren't.  

The good thing about church family, we can be real with each other.  We know that Satan is the enemy and not each other.  Satan hates that! When we show our imperfection, we can give God the glory for redemption. 

We all hate sin.  We all hate when we hurt each other. (At least we should if we truly are in God's family) God can use the bad that Satan intended for His good.  He can bring us closer through the power of Holy Spirit forgiveness.

It's amazing the bond that forms when you truly forgive a member of your holy family. And on the otherside, it's an amazing feeling when the one you've hurt forgives you.  I have been on both sides of this and I find it transforming.

On the flip side, I have also been one to hide behind alcohol.  I have found myself, in the past, consoling a bottle of wine or a friend drinking with me. When alcohol covers the pain, it just numbs it.  It doesn't resolve ANYTHING! 

As a truly new creation in Christ, I have completely stopped drinking.  I do not judge or condemn you if you drink or hang out with the bar goers but I will say this...God is a healer of all broken.  He doesn't numb the pain, He heals it.  Heals!!!  The family of God is a support system for God.  They aren't perfect and most don't claim to be.  That's a big difference between trusting the world and trusting God. God can use our broken and flaws.  The world covers their's in a hope that you will only see perfection.  Yes, there are "church-goers" that hide behind walls in an attempt to cover their imperfections.   But...when the walls cone down its AMAZING!!!!

First, the people that cover their pain and broken with alcohol are running from their problems not to God.
 

It's True...smiling makes a difference

I have been reading a book titled "Created to Be His Help Meet".  In that book there is a section about how people, husband's specifically, find you more attractive when you are smiling and joyful. I found it very interesting, as I grow closer with God and have a strong desire to be the best wife EVER.

The book gives an example of an ugly hillbilly women to prove the point.  The writer says that the ugly hillbilly women is always smiling and being happy with customers of a store where she works.  She noticed that the women was always surrounded by multiple people that enjoyed her company.  The customers were attracted to her joy.  The writer's husband even called the woman cute. Her joy made her cute.

One day, the writer and her husband saw the same woman in the grocery store yelling at her kids.  She had, apparently, what I call mean mommy face. The writer's husband said that he had never seen that woman before. The writer explained that it was the "cute" woman from the store. Ha!

Well, last night my husband and I were watching "Along came a Spider".  Monica Potter is one of the main characters.  I commented that she was very pretty and had a cuteness about her.  She was a US Secret Service Agent.  She had a joyful innocence about her.  It made her glow.

Spoiler alert, the Monica Potter character becomes the bad guy at the end of the movie. I remember commenting to Paul that she was not pretty anymore.  I could jot find beauty in her.  When she became a bad, nasty, evil person, I couldn't find beauty in her. The writer's point was made.  I had never even thought of it. 

I guess my reason for all of this is to say this...glow with joy-put on a smile.  God would rather see you smile and be joyful.  Your husband, your friends, your enemies, all find you more attractive when you show joy.  You are loved and cared for by the Almighty.  What's not to be joyful about!?!

What's Different???

The other morning I was discussing with my husband that I would try and do better about being home more for dinner during the week.  Right now I have dinner at a girlfriend's house on Tuesdays and at church on Wednesdays.  It leaves him to arrange his own meals or I make and leave him something to eat alone at home two nights a week.  I find it a bit rude and selfish of me as a wife. 

As we were discussing it, he insists that I continue with my 2 dinners out a week.  He said to me, "It is apparently good for you."  When I asked him to explain what he meant,  he went on to say that I am more relaxed and laid back these days.  He finds that I am happier. Hahahahaha

After hearing what he had to say, I explained to him that it's not my time away from him, my time at church or time with friends...it's my time with Jesus that has changed me.
I continued to tell him how I have grown into a closer relationship with Christ and make more time for Him.  I have given the Lord all the "yuck" from my life and treat Him like He is the Everything that He is.

For much of my life I have tried to handle things on my own and kept God on a shelf for the big emergencies.  I called on Him when I needed Him and prayed to Him like He was just a God who lives in Heaven.  The Lord is NOT JUST AN ANYTHING!!!! The Lord is THE EVERYTHING!!!!

Once I stepped into the realization that He IS, I looked at Him as the "I AM."  I need a friend, God says "I Am." I need a husband, God says, "I Am." I need a father, a teacher, a doctor, a brother, a breath of fresh air, a provider, a counselor, a mighty shoulder to cry on...God says, "I AM."
(Tears want to flow with joy just thinking about this.)

Once you accept, believe and claim the idea-the truth-that God IS-life becomes so easy and free for abundantly peaceful living.  The friends and church are all good things provided by God to bring us happiness but God, ALONE, is enough. He has made me a different person. 

I feel like Psalm 23 sums it all up.  The 23rd Psalm is full of promises I live by.  Most people think of that passage of scripture as the beautiful serenity scripture read at a funeral.  Lol.  I live in it, claiming it for life. The Lord promises so much in those 6 verses.  He promises He will provide ALL I need, peace, strength, comfort, anointing and on and on. 

With scripture like the 23rd Psalm, why wouldn't I live in peace and in a place of easy going and relax? I have to wonder why I haven't claimed this before.  Why have I tried to conquer the world on my own when the One who created it all has said that He will do it for me. 

I pray that you fully surrender all to God so that you can experience the peace of living in Him. You will be a changed person with a changed outlook on life. I guarantee!!!!

Don't Rely on Egypt!

This morning the scripture I read was from Isaiah 31.  I read the entire chapter but verses 1 through 3 spoke deeply to my heart. They say, "Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help and who depend on horses! They trust in the abundance of chariots and in the large number of horsemen. They do not look to the Holy One of Israel and they do not seek the Lord ’s help. But He also is wise and brings disaster. He does not go back on what He says; He will rise up against the house of wicked men and against the allies of evildoers. Egyptians are men, not God; their horses are flesh, not spirit. When the Lord raises His hand to strike, the helper will stumble and the one who is helped will fall; both will perish together."

Throughout my marriage I have always looked to my husband for things I've needed.  Protection, food, money, enjoyment, emotional support, so on and so forth.  My husband has done the best he can to provide. I would say he did a pretty good job until we lived through a four month separation. 

During the four months, he still offered some financial support but the rest...that was for me to find on my own. Right?!? God says otherwise.   In fact, I believe that the separation was part of a weaning process for me.  God was trying to teach me to lean on Him for everything, not a human. 

God says that if we ask, He will give us what we need.  In the verses from Isaiah, God is making it clear that reaching for help from the wrong places will only bring us harm.  Humans can abandon us. God wants us to depend on Him for everything.  After all, He created us and everything else on the earth. I am pretty sure He knows what we need and when we need it.

Please don't misunderstand me.  My husband has always provided for me when I was living with him and when things were good by the grace and goodness of God's provision.  BUT...when I wanted to continue depending on him through the bad, God said to me that HE is my Provider.

God will teach us lessons and use bad situations to draw us closer to Him.  I feel, strongly, that part of the circumstance that I lived was to teach me to depend on God and not humans.  As much as I love my husband and know that he does the best he can to provide, I know that there is someone who provides better, without a separation period. 

God has blessed me with a forgiving and strong man for a husband.  I am grateful for that for sure.  I am grateful that God is molding and making him too.  We grow as we become grateful for things that we have always just taken for granted.  We grow as we realize that God is the Provider of EVERYTHING! Jehovah Jireh!  We grow when we give credit where credit is due. 

Don't be an Enabler

Have you ever had a friend or known someone that takes advantage of  kindness and continuously asks for things instead of trying to take care of themselves?  There are people that feel entitled to certain things.  They feel that, because they were a victim of circumstances, the world owes them.  I see this as a real problem with the younger generation today but it is true with older adults too.

Through Jesus we can't afford to lives as victims.  We must live knowing that we are victors.  Jesus saved us from our past or can save us if we give it to Him.  Whatever it is-past abuse- medical conditions-WHATEVER.  God has plans for each of us and living as a victim, waiting for handouts is not it.  (If I have offended you, please accept my apology and keep reading)

God wants us to help either other but being an enabler to the lazy and the ones living in fear of their past or as a victim, God speaks against it. In  2 Thessalonians 3:11-12 says, "For we hear that there are some among you who walk irresponsibly, not working at all, but interfering with the work of others.  Now we command and exhort such people by the Lord Jesus Christ that quietly working, they may eat their own food."

I find myself feeling sorry for people that don't have what they need.  Why?  God provides what we need.  Most of the time the people I find myself helping are people who are perfectly capable of working and earning their own way but choose not to.  God expects us to help those who can't help themselves.  He clearly speaks about helping those thoughout His Word. 

Laziness is a sin that has consequences.  I don't have very good boundaries in place for dealing with this because I do have a heart that wants to help.  BUT-it kind of goes back to the saying about-give a man a fish and he can eat for a day or teach a man to fish and he can eat for a lifetime. (I may not have that exact but you get the point.)

With all of this being said, I am not telling you that you shouldn't help those in need.  I am saying that God wants us to have the wisdom to discern between  those that truly need help and those who are lazy and not doing what God intended with their lives.  Don't be an enabler to those who are living a life of sin by taking advantage of kindest and generosity. 

On the other side of this...if you are the one taking advantage...don't be surprised when you find yourself in a place of abandonment.  God may take away those who enable in order to show tough love. Don't see it as a negative but as a learning experience.  God gives us brains, strength and other provisions in order for us to live in His will.  He never intended for us to waste all of this and live off of the world around us.  He wants us to trust, solely, on Him.  He will give us what we need to do what we have to to provide our own way.

I am speaking from a place of Holy Spirit guidance.  This is a topic that I have been praying about and asking for guidance on.  I know this is a sensitive subject to those of you that struggle to find the strength to press forward into self-reliance. I pray that you will dig deep and find courage to pick yourself up and do what God wants you to. 

If you find that you are an enabler-like myself-find other ways to help the "victim".  Help them write a resume for a job, help them on the job hunt, teach them to read or right or whatever they need.  Give them valuable help that will last a lifetime.  Teach them to take care of themselves by not teaching them to completely rely on others. 
Trust me...you will do them a greater favor.
Remember to keep living them and being kind even if you stop being an enabler.  Don't treat them like enemies even when they get mad at you for not enabling.
"Yet don’t treat him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother."
2 Thessalonians 3:15 HCSB

Exiles will be Rescued

I know that my last blog was about exiles being rescued but for some reason the Lord has brought me back to this thought. 

Have you ever felt exiled?  From a  relationship, a place, a status?  Do you feel that way now?  Sometimes people can be cruel and turn you away because of something THEY find as a fault in you.  Maybe they kick you out of relationship with them or out of their house or even try to take the "status" away from you.  Let's say they mark you as dirty and unworthy because of something you said or did. 

Who gives them authority to exile you? No one.  As humans we judge and set standards, failing to remember that we are none good.  Only God is good.  So we tend to exile others from certain places in relationship, status or even physical place.  I have been just as guilty of this as anyone.  I'm ashamed to say. 

God tells us not to worry about these things.  The only One that has complete authority over all is God.  People can exile us but God will rescue us when and if He sees fit.  Micah 4:10 says, "You will soon be sent in exile to distant Babylon. But the Lord will rescue you there; he will redeem you from the grip of your enemies."

Humans may put us in a place of "exile" based on their judgements and criticisms but God redeemed us through Jesus Christ. Is that not the most awesome thing ever?!?! If we are in relationship with Christ, we can't ever be exiled from His Kingdom.  He promised us this.  We are made worthy, no matter what we do or say, if we have accepted Christ as our Savior. 

Man may try to bring you down.  Opinions and criticisms, judgements and nasty, may make you feel exiled from society or your family but God says there is no need to worry.  When we trust Him, God provides rescue and safety.  He makes us worthy and brings us out of exile. 

Truth is...I would much rather be in right standing with God than worry about what anyone on earth says or thinks.  If you are feeling exiled or unloved, know that God loves you no matter what another person says or feels.  If we depended on the people in our lives to approve and accept us to get into Heaven, wouldn't we just be in so much trouble!?!  Praise God for His grace, mercy and unfailing love.

Love the people in your life despite how they feel.  Thank God for them and watch how things change.  People that live in darkness or ones that aren't where they should be in relationship with Christ, point fingers and exile others as a reflection of how dirty they feel themselves.  Remember who God expects you to be and that the evil, cruel things that others do to you are a flaw in THEIR character, not yours.  Pray for them and ask God to give them forgiveness and acceptance.  Let God take control.  He WILL rescue you.  He may decide that you are better off being exiled from the relationship or place or status that you have been exiled from. 

I don't know about you, but because God made all of us, I trust they He knows what's best for us.  Just a thought-not that of the "random thought" kind-a real love, a real thought for being in Christ and filled with the Holy Spirit.

Good Fig

There is a long story of how my marriage went on a downward spiral recently and how I was exiled from my house.  I will spare you the details but will make my point.  I am back at my house and God is slowly, very slowly working on my marriage.  Praise Him for His mighty works!!!

To get to the point of this post...
In September, I was asked to leave our marital home because my husband felt our marriage was over.  We live on family land and with me being retired I can't afford a house payment so it just had to be this way.  I was "exiled", so to speak, from what was my safe haven or at least I thought was my safe haven.

I moved into my 5th wheel and became a, somewhat, permanent resident.  I thought about complaining for all of about 5 seconds but realized that it was very comfortable and very peaceful. It became my home.  God took care of me and made sure that I was provided for. He became the husband that my earthly husband no longer desired to be but even better.  (I didn't have to cook for God, hehe) All kidding aside, I enjoyed being one on One with my Heavenly Husband.

This morning as I prayed about what scripture to read, the Holy Spirit gave me Jeremiah 24.  I read it and began thinking back to being exiled. Verses 6 and 7 really hit a nerve.  The Lord is speaking and says, "I will watch over and care for them, and I will bring them back here again. I will build them up and not tear them down. I will plant them and not uproot them. I will give them hearts that recognize me as the Lord . They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me wholeheartedly." This is scripture about greedy King Nebuchadnezzar exiling folks from his land.  He wanted it all for himself.  Well...God had other plans. God spoke to Jeremiah using an illustration about good figs and bad figs.  Read Jeremiah 24 to get the entire story.

[Side note:if you haven't read the story of King Nebuchadnezzar, please take the time to.  It's a great story.  I love the story of King Neb because of the twist and turns of it.]

God made a promise to take care of those exiled.  He did.  He took care of me and returned me to my house with my husband.  He followed through on His promise. He said that I am His good fig because I gave my heart to Him and trusted Him to take care of me. 

I thank God that He led me down a path to being a good fig.  He has brought me to a place of full surrender. I feel secure in Him. He has made it clear that He will protect His good figs if they (we, I) give Him the steering wheel and let Him drive the car.  Lol. 

Since I have been back in my marital house, I have faced a couple of issues with the hubs causing me to want to scream.  I have fought, a couple of times, against God saying that He has all of it under control. God has made it clear that I am trying to take control of things that He says He will handle.  If I continue to be a good fig, I have nothing to worry about.  There is nothing I need to try and control.  God has ultimate authority and will see that I am more than taken care of.  He promises things are going to be amazing if I let Him do things His way. With promises like that, why would I want to get in the way?!?

Marital Singleness

Recently my marriage has had issues and struggles. As my husband and I begin the healing process and the really tough road to reconciliation, I hear the words from his mouth..."we have nothing in common." We don't-we have nothing in common other than being created by the Lord.

I have thought about those words so much since he said them.  Should I be hurt by them?  Should I take them as we don't belong together? Why would God want me to stay in a marriage with someone I have nothing in common with?

It's kind of ironic that someone from church would hand me a book last night and ask me to read it.  The purpose was so that I could give an opinion on whether it would make a good class for, possibly, the youth. The book is titled "Single, Married, Separated and Life after Divorce."

The person that handed me the book had no idea I was struggling with the phrase that came from my husband's mouth. God and His perfect timing always amaze me.  He knew the questions I had and how to answer them through one of my favorite past times-reading.

I hadn't gotten very far in the book before I felt led to share what I have read.  I will summarize. The first chapter talks about being single versus being alone.  Being single in today's society carries a stigma with it.  To be single says you can't find a mate which apparently means you are a loser. What??? No wonder we have so many divorces. Single, to most, means being alone.

As I read this I thought about what my husband said.  For the past 17 years I have been my husband's wife or girlfriend.  I did what he wanted, when he wanted to and just went along with his likes and dislikes.  I never had a problem with it because somewhere along the way I lost MY identity. I found myself believing that I had to be with him and do the things he wanted in order to be happy.  Being individual was not my cup of tea.

It's crazy but as I write this I think about brussel sprouts and broccoli. As a child I never got to eat those vegetables because my mom didn't like them.  I was, essentially, forced to conform to her likes and dislikes. I LOVE those veggies now.  I feel I have missed out for a long time.  But you see what I am talking about? By no fault of my mom did I miss out.  She just didn't think I would like them since she didn't.

When we conform to the likes and dislikes of other people instead of being who God wants us to be-unique and special-we miss out on things. We can't look at being different as a bad thing.  Not having anything in common is actually a good thing. It can expand our lives as a couple.  Being capable if being single, even within the marriage, is healthy.

Just because my husband and I have nothing in common doesn't mean we can't find common ground in joining each other in our individual likes.  We can teach each other and expand horizons.  How awesome!! I might teach him to enjoy reading one day! Doubtful...

The book that I am reading refers to how God created Adam and then gave him Eve as a helper.  He made them individually, giving them individual likes and dislikes. If God had made everyone alike, how boring would this world be!?! The author of the book also points out the fact that we all have different fingerprints and DNA.  Clearly, God wanted us to be individuals, right?

As we look for a spouse or work on the marriage or relationship we are already in, be yourself.  Find your own identity and be you.  If I had been me from the beginning, I would like to think that my marriage would not be struggling.  The shock of us having nothing in common would not be a shock. 

When we find our identity and learn that being single, even in a marriage, is not the same as being alone...good things will happen.  Bad things happen when we start to think that our happy has to come from our spouse or mate.  When they aren't around we can be trapped into feeling lonely and caught of guard by Satan's lies and deceptions.

I am praying that God will, not only restore but, renew my marriage.  I feel He is bringing me back to individuality in order to make me who He originally planned for me to be.  My husband liked and fell in love with me as an individual, God knows that.  He is restoring me and my marriage. Ha!

Joyful Reading

If you ever need scripture that will make you smile, well...the Bible is full of it. Lol- But, this morning I read Isaiah 55.  It brought over me a feeling of peace and joy. 

I won't quote the entire passage but when I got to verse 12, I have to say it gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling. Isaiah 55:12 says, "You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands!"  This made me giggle as I had a visual of the mountains and trees joining together in praise and worship time to the Lord. 

Isaiah 55 has a long list of promises from God and His invitation into salvation.  There is verse after verse telling us how God provides and takes care of us.  He shows unfailing love to His people.  The Lord is inviting us into His way of living.

So many times we get wrapped up in what we can't do as the Lord's children.  We look at it as a burden to stay out of sinful living.  When we stumble into sin, we beat ourselves up and feel less than worthy to serve God.

The Lord wants a relationship with us.  He wants to love on us and show us His charm and peace.  Our Father wants to hold us and shower us abundantly with all the good things of this life.  He knows that we will fail and that we will stumble.  Jesus was sent to die for us because of this. 

Our sin has been covered in the blood of Jesus.  Oh salvation! That doesnt give us a green light for sinful living but daves us from death. Sin can come between us and an intimate relationship with God.  He wants to clean us of sin, rid our lives of the bad so we can join the mountains and trees in praise.  The closer we get to Him, the further we want to be from the wicked.  Maybe there is something in your life that is sinful or something in your past that was sinful. Ask God for forgiveness and give it to Him. Turn from it.  Start living the way that pleases the Lord.
Just picture yourself singing in a chorus line with mountains and trees.  If that doesn't make you smile nothing will.

A New Level of Praying

Since I was a tiny girl I was taught to pray.  I have always blessed my meals and said prayers before going to bed.  The "Now I lay me down to sleep" prayer was one that was said very often at my childhood home.

Throughout my growth as a Christian, a follower of Christ, prayer has continued to be a huge part of my daily life.  As a police officer for more than 20 years, prayer was vital in keeping my sanity.

Over the years I have prayed for all kinds of things and yesterday was no different. Because God doesn't do things half way, He showed His awesomeness to me after praying for something so insignificant.

Here's the story...
I have a pair of fresh water pearl earrings that my grandparents gave me for Christmas when I was in high school over 25 years ago.  I wear them a lot because they are special to me and they are just simple.

Friday I wore them to town to run some errands.  I was all over the place.  When I got home, I did some stuff in the yard and worked in my woman room (girls version of man cave). If I had to retrace my steps from that day, I probably could not. It was like a scene from the Family Circus comic strip.  That night I took a bath and went to bed so tired that I don't remember hitting the pillow.

The next day, as I was getting ready to do more work, I noticed one of my pearl earrings had fallen out of my ear.  I was very sad.  I had had these earrings for a long time and now my pair was a single. Sad emjoi face here.  Because I have hit a new level of praying and communication with God, I prayed that He would help me find the earring. I looked around hoping that it had just fallen on the bathroom floor. Nope!

That day I took a bubble bath, went through my day and ended up taking another bath that evening.  Don't judge...I like taking baths. I, normally, would rinse the tub but I just got too tired and felt like rebelling against my OCD.

This morning I got in the bath tub for my Sunday morning bath.  As I reached for the soap, that had fallen to the bottom of the tub, I reached to find what felt like a tiny rock or a beetle.  I thought maybe a lady bug had drowned.  I had a quick moment of despair. :-(   When I pulled it out of the water I saw that it was my lost earring.
Ha! I did a little happy chant praising God for answering my prayer. 

My point is...God answers prayers. Just because it's not exactly when we ask , doesn't mean that it isn't going to happen.  If God had immediately answered my prayer and I had found the earring on the floor at my feet, I wouldn't be writing about it. He knew that.  He made it an extraordinary story to show His power and to get the full serving of glory He deserves.

God loves to show off.  He loves to woo us and make us feel so special.  He knew where the earring was all along but chose the perfect timing in order to prove how awesome He is. After 3 baths, why didn't that tiny little earring wash down the drain?  Because God knew I would be delighted in His earring rescue story.  Praise God for answered prayers.

Writers Block

Because I have writers' block, I just feel the need to praise God!
There is no story to tell or fancy Holy Spirit led discussion this morning, just praise time.

I praise God that He loves me and calls me Beloved.
I praise Him that He carries me through rough times and doesn't expect me to do it on my own.
I praise God that my marriage has survived and will thrive because He is control of my life.
I praise God and thank Him so much for my husband.
I praise God for changes I see in my husband and myself.
I praise God for my family even when they don't want to claim me. (Ouch-I have so much love to give)
I praise God for my church family and their encouragement.
I praise God for the hoots from the owls in the backyard last night.  He woos me with birds because He knows my likes. :-)
I praise God for my home.
I praise God for speaking to me so softly and sweetly, letting me know everything's in His capable hands.
I praise God for morning coffee with Him.
I praise God for the gifts and talents He has entrusted me with.
I praise God for provision during my 4 months away from my husband.
I praise Him for the provisions while I am with my husband.
I praise God for being my Husband, Brother, Best Friend, Father and Everything.
I praise God for Words of encouragement in times that I want to give up.
I praise God for each breath that I  breathe.

My list goes on and on. In the last 2 months I have written a list of over 1100.  I don't want to overload you. Just know, God is amazingly, abundantly loving and worthy of praise. I will end by saying this...
If God is for you, no one can come against you....PRAISE GOD!

Big Hands

Weathering a storm, whether self-inflicted or no fault of your own, can be so difficult and overwhelming.  Your world crashes around you and there just seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. If there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it may seem like it's the train that's getting ready to run you over.

God never promised us that bad times would not come.  He has never promised us a life free or struggles or pain.  What He has promised is a life of safety and peace in His big, loving, strong, very capable hands. He has promised us that whatever we face, He holds us tightly in His sweet embrace to allow for us to be rescued at the right time.

"Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." Psalms 37:24 (NLT) God  allows us to stumble.  I have found that through the stumbling, we have the opportunity to draw closer to Him.  Sometimes we get complacent when everything is going well.  We begin to lose touch with God and the fact that He wants us to need Him. 

Yesterday, as I drove to church, I was listening to my Ipod.  Natalie Grant's song, "Held" came on.  I have never really thought much about the words of that song because I couldn't really understand what she was saying or what any of it meant.  But yesterday...I understood every word and it made perfect sense.  It is a beautiful song.

I'm not going to quote the entire song but here is the chorus:
"This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held"
Is that not the most beautiful  chorus you have ever read?!?! I have, finally, felt this song and it has become a life lesson, a motto, a testimony.  I just got chills.

When our "sacred" is torn away, through whatever trauma you might have experienced in your life, God holds your hand and brings you through to the other side.  He gives you strength to survive.  He holds you when everything falls or seems to crash around you. 

The best part of all of this "being held" stuff is that God holds you no matter what you are going through.  He wants to hold you in the good, the bad and the ugly.  We, sometimes, forget He is there when things are good but He doesn't forget us.  I have heard stories of parents forgetting their children and accidentally leaving them at school or whatever, but God is perfect and never forgets His children.

Take a listen to the song "Held".  Let your mind hear the words and your heart feel them.  Let God hold you-  There is an amazing peace that comes with it.

Harvest of Blessings

I am having a difficult time not jumping up and down and doing a happy dance today.  God has blessed me beyond measure, as always.  He continues to show His love and mercy minute by minute. 

If you have been following my blog, you have probably realized that my marriage was headed south and appeared to be over. My mistakes and struggles pushed my husband away and sent our marriage spiraling into the abyss of doom.

Since September of 2016, I have been praying that God fix my marriage if it was His will.  I prayed that my husband would have a forgiving heart and be more gentle with the way he deals with things.  I prayed that God would make me a better person and, in turn, a better wife.

My faith in God told me that my marriage was going to be okay and that God would use me in a big way even through my mistakes.  God kept whispering to me in His still, small voice to wait on Him and just trust.  So...I did but only through His strength and love. And then...

Well...wait for it.....
Friday, February 10th, 2017, my husband asked me to move back in with him and wants to get our marriage, our lives, back on track. Yay! God has softened his heart and even given him the ability to talk me down off the ledge as I had a bit of meltdown over an issue that is really not even an issue.

God answered my prayers abundantly more than I could ever imagine.  I prayed for restoration but got complete renewal.  My husband and I share thoughts and feelings like we never have before.  The brokenness from my past kept me in hiding and behind walls that hindered me from having the relationship with God that I, truly, desired and from having a full, deep relationship with my husband.  I feel, now, that I can tell God anything and that I can tell my husband anything.

Are things perfect? No, the rest of the family will have a difficult time adjusting but God has proven that He is faithful. If I keep doing right and be obedient to Him, God will bless me abundantly.  I might be a slow learner on some things but knowing God's power and that He keeps His promises, I learned that very quickly. He is amazingly loving and compassionate.

God promises that if we do what is right...if we don't run away from our brokenness but give it to Him, if we don't give into Satan's lies and deceptions, if we don't fail to trust and have faith, if we give God the glory for ALL that He does, we will "reap a harvest of blessing."
"Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith." Galatians 6:7‭-‬10 NLT

People will think you are crazy as they look at the circumstances you are in.  They will think, and sometimes say, that your storm is too much to survive.  They say and they think these things because they don't TRULY know MY God!!!  I have seen God's faithfulness throughout my life and have no doubt that He gives us His best if we trust and let Him. 

Praise God!!!!

Clear History

We all search the web from time to time.  The searches lead to saved information that can be used by marketers to put irritating ads all over your internet.  Every time you go on the internet you end up bombarded with the annoying junk popping up.

The good thing is...we can do a "clear browser history" and get rid of the cookies that allow this marketers to feed their need to annoy. I like to compare these ads to those little paper cards that fall out of magazines as you are trying to read.  Are those not the most irritating things?   They fall out and cause me to lose focus on what I'm reading because I feel I have to stop and pick them up off of the floor.

Our past, our failures can be the same way.  Satan can use them to draw our focus away from God and His good plans for us.  He feeds us with lies throw these unwanted thoughts and "ads" that play in our minds.  He will tell us that our history makes us unworthy to be who God wants us to be or do what God wants us to do.

If would be great if we could hit a button to "clear browsing history" wouldn't it?  Well, we can't, necessarily, wipe the memories clear but we can let them go.  We can train ourselves to refocus on God everything Satan tries to fill us with his evil, twisted ads.  It takes work but it can happen. 

As humans, it is hard for us to forget our past failures but we don't have to live in them.  God says in Hebrews 10:17 NLT, “I will never again remember their sins and lawless deeds.” God forgets our sins when we confess and repent.   He will never remember...He wipes the memory.  He doesn't have a great big book that He keeps records in if we give them to Him.  He washes the slate clean and makes us new.  He cleans our browsing history.

God doesn't let us forget our past because He wants us to learn and grow from our mistakes. We will, without a doubt, run across someone that will fail the same way.  God expects us to use that failure to help others who stumble because of the same issue.   "Stand firm against him (Satan), and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are." 1 Peter 5:9 NLT

Satan is watching our "browsing history". He knows where we have been and where the cracks in our foundation are.  He uses those "cookies" to feed us with destructive lies and nasty yuck.  We can defeat his evil schemes by giving all of the yuck to God.  Drop it off, clear the history and keep on moving.  Don't let the enemy-sneaky, evil, coward-get in the way of God's truth and promises.  God takes what was meant for evil and uses it for good.
"You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people." Genesis 50:20 NLT

Be my Valentine

With the great "love" holiday approaching, Valentines day, I feel it necessary to talk about my "valentine". 

I have never really cared much about February 14th and what it is to some.  I have always felt like we should show love all the time and not just on a particular day.  I know that most people do love everyday, but why is it that we feel we must wait until that very day to really express the super crazy love? Don't you think women like getting flowers more than just one day a year?

What if Jesus picked only one day of the year to love us?  That would be so sad.  I don't know about you, but I feel His love all the time.  I haven't always, but I do now.  There have been times when I thought He abandoned me.  I have felt like God just resigned and said I wasn't worth loving.  The scars of worldly, wounded love skewed my perception of God's kind of love. 

Shame on me for thinking like that.  We start to think like that when we focus on ourselves, our struggles and our own abilities.  The clutter of life gets in the way of the love that God shows us.  We measure love by the way humans love us.  I have to say, that can be a cruel thing.

In Psalm 119:103, the psalmist says this, "How sweet your words taste to me; they are sweeter than honey."  He felt God speaking to him in love and adoration.  He experienced God's  wooing. 

If we take time to listen and put all the worldly stuff aside, we will hear God speaking love into us.  If we pay attention, God woos us with things that will delight us because He knows what we like.  God knows I like birds.  He constantly puts them in moments of my life to show me His love.  He uses them as distractions when I start feeling unworthy or sad. 

God loves us with flowers everyday not just February 14th.  He will serenade us with rain drops on a roof or birds singing sweet love songs.  How about the rainbows, can your earthly Valentine give you that? I think not. He amazes if we open up to His heart and stop to listen to Him.

This world doesn't have the "valentine" presents that God can offer.  A bouquet of cut flowers, a box of chocolates-these things go away quickly.  God gives something so much better and that is everlasting-Himself.  He wants to speak the words to us that are sweeter than honey.  He wants to romance us and love us like no human ever can.  I get chills just thinking about it. 

 

Pedestals of Make Believe

In the recent past, I have had three interactions with people that have made comments that bring thought to something that is interesting and sad.  I would like to say that at least two of the contacts spoke from a place of love but the other...from true hurt and deep wounds.

In August of last year, someone that I should be close to said that she never felt like she could be close to me because she was afraid she wouldn't live up to my standards.  She went on to say that I couldn't accept her for who she is.  She has deep wounds in her hurt from her childhood that put up walls, keeping us from bonding.

Another instance, I had a phone conversation with a friend that said that she thought I had it all together and never messed up.  This was after I gave testimony of mess ups in my life.  She continued with saying that I always seemed so perfect.  She thanked me for sharing and it really was a beautiful conversation.  We had really only know each other from a distance so I praise God for the bonding experience.

Recently, I received a text that pointed out a list of things that, in her mind, I had done and followed with me being on a pedestal.  She continued with tearing me done in a very obvious attempt to cover her own wounds and hurt.  She made it so real, the pain she is living with, but has walls up that will be so hard to penetrate.  God may use me there one day but I can only pray for her for now.

Why is it that people PUT you on a pedestal and then tear you down for being on said pedestal? I have never thought of myself as worthy of a pedestal but quite the opposite. But somehow these three people, with probably others, have made me into this perfection that is so far from being reality. It makes me feel like I might have put up walls and guarded myself from these ladies. Well--I have.  I have past hurts that have caused me to hide behind the hurt and pain.  That's what we do.

We are none perfect or worthy of pedestals but, sometimes get put up there by people that don't know the real person we are.  Only one of these three ladies has really tried to get to know me. The others have kept themselves at a distance.  When we try to hide behind hurt and pain, it's difficult to desire a relationship with people who, in our own minds, are on these nonexistent pedestals. 

Throughout my life I have tried to be easy to get along with and tried to love everyone, even the really difficult to love.  The Bible says, "Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3 NLT.  I have tried to live by this but somehow get stereotyped, as a Christian, into being self-righteous.

Because people have put me on some kind of pedestal, when I do stumble, it appears to be that I was living a lie.  Are Christians, followers of Christ, immune from sin for some reason that I haven't found?  The answer would be no.  However,  we should live a life that is an example of Christ.  When we stumble we should easily recognize it and have a repentant heart. 

Having Christ in us doesn't make us perfect and free from sin.  It makes us conscious of it and repentant of it.  We will not be perfect while living on this earth. We can grow in Christ by studying His Word and having an intimate relationship with God.  Jesus died on the cross because He knew we weren't going to be perfect.  Praise God!

As others put us on these make believe pedestals, we have to remember that it is because they are comparing themselves to us. They are seeking something that they like in us but are afraid to ask where we got it.  They are valuing themselves as a lesser when they really don't have to. I would love nothing more than to share Christ and His love with these ladies or anyone else that is grasping.

God says we are none better than each other.  We are, also, none good in comparison to God. I want to urge each person that reads this to try and get to know the people that you have contact with.  Don't judge a book by its cover.  Don't judge at all.  My cover may appear put together and righteous but if you ask...I will explain how God is working in my life.  I will tell you about pain and shame that God has taken into His loving hands, making Him the only One that belongs on a pedestal.

Tis the Season

Would you go swimming in the river in winter?  Would you wear heavy jackets in summer? Would you prune the budding trees in spring?  Would green leaves, typically, grow on trees in fall?  I think the answer would be no to all of these questions if we are referring to normal places like South Carolina.  We know that certain things happen at certain times.

Just like the seasons of change happen with weather and nature, our lives have seasons.  Ecclesiastes 3 explains that "For everything there is a season."  As we go through life, God allows us to enter into different seasons.  He gives us specific times for specific things.

There will be seasons of hurting and stripping down.  There will be seasons of healing and joy.  We will experience many different seasons that God uses in our growth.  He wants us to be more like Him but we can't handle all of the change at once.  He slowly changes us, pealing layer after layer, getting us to a point before changing the season to adding layer upon layer.

I like to garden. I usually plant a vegetable garden each year.  I know that in order to make the garden grow and produce, I must till the ground, plant the seeds, water the plants and pull the weeds. All of which has it's specific timing in the process. All of those things must be done before I can harvest the crop.

God works the same way.  He has to cultivate and give us seasons in order to help us understand Him better and to help us be where we should be within His will.  He wants us to produce the best fruit so He allows us to go through the seasons.

Without God in control of our lives, the seasons of stripping can be unbearable.  He puts us or allows us to enter the "rough" seasons for growth but promises to be there to carry us through. He doesn't put you in a season that He is not willing to get you through if you depend on Him.  In fact, the hard seasons are where He expects that we will call on Him most.  When all is stripped away, He knows that there is a good chance (Hopefully) that you will depend on Him.  Even the self-imposed rough seasons are His to carry you through.

Although the hard seasons tend to make us need Him more, God wants us to want Him all the time.  Why is it that we wait for the tough seasons to call on Him? If the season is bright and cheery, going our way, we tend to neglect our relationship with God. He wants us to want Him through all seasons. 

Would you plant and spend time in the garden and walk away as it is producing the crop? No, that would make no sense.  Why would you do the hard work and walk away when it's time to harvest? So, why would you abandon your relationship with God when the good times come? That is the best time for really enjoying His presence.  It would be like fighting with your spouse and walking away from him/her when they want to kiss and make up.  Ha! Who wants to do that?!?

I have learned to really enjoy God through my current season.  Yes, it's been one of the "hard" seasons but I know that this season is necessary in order to get to the "harvest".  Oh what beauty will be in the harvest! I have felt God really loving on me and helping me through.  He has made it really clear that the harvest, from this cultivation, is going to be fabulous. 

Whatever season you are in, good, bad, ugly, find the beauty that is God.  Trust Him, fully, knowing that He has you there for your good.  He wants to cultivate you and make you more like Him.  Enjoy the rest that comes with being in the almighty care of the Mighty God.  It is a wonderful place to be no matter what season you are in.

Foiled Again??

We have all faced interference at some point in our lives.  Our plans to go to a particular university foiled by a lack of funding.  Our vacation ruined with inclimate weather.  The boyfriend we thought we would marry does something that breaks the relationship.  I could go on and on.

Have you ever thought of this as God's intervention in our lives?  Just because things didn't go as we planned, doesn't mean that it didn't go as planned.  "You can make many plans, but the Lord ’s purpose will prevail." Proverbs 19:21 NLT. God decided for us, before we were conceived, what His purpose would be in our lives.

God runs interference for us.  The marriage that you wanted, God intervened so that you would end up with a better man.  The vacation ruined with inclimate weather probably gave you more rest than you thought you needed.  The university that you thought you were supposed to attend, well, the one you did attend might be where God placed your future spouse or your job offer.

God has it all planned out.  You might try to get in His way and you may slow things down but you can't make His plan fail.  Instead of the straight shot to the finish line you make the zigzag but the finish line never changes.  Oh, if I had listened a long time ago-the steps would I have saved. Ha!

Sometimes our plans are hindered by enemies or people who play the part of enemy because they let Satan use them. They get played as a fool by the old dirty geezer. He can use them to bring confusion and chaos to those who aren't firmly grounded in Christ.  That is why standing on God's Word is so important.  Knowing God's promises is the best defense against these kinds of people.  "What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?" Romans 8:31 NLT 

God will not let the enemy foil His plan.  Now he (Satan) will give it the old college try and bring the weaker of the human race on board to help, but God has ways to deal with that too. God protects His people and brings blessings to those that follow His instruction.

God can give strength and knowledge that can make us capable of anything.  If it's in His plan for you to accomplish, you can be assured that He will give you what you need to accomplish it.  God makes the impossible, possible.  I've seen it happen.  It's kind of like the mailman motto, "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds".  God doesn't let anything stand in the way of His rounds either.

Saddle the horses

In my career as a police officer, I had to prepare for court.  I didn't always have the luxury of having an attorney fighting for me so I had to present my own cases.  I had to act as the attorney for the prosecution even if the defendant had an attorney.  Talk about intimidating! Going up against someone skilled in fighting court battles with law degrees and pretty certificates hanging on the wall could sometimes be nerve rattling.

I always went into the court room prepared even if I knew the defendant was going to plead guilty without a fight.  I wanted to make sure that I did the best job I could or the work would all be for nothing.  With God's strength and guidance, I had great success in my conviction rate.

Being prepared, even if you aren't sure there will even be a battle, is the wise thing to do.  Because we never know how things might go, a battle plan is always good.

Proverbs 21:31 (NLT) says, "The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord." This verse reminds me that we don't know what God's plans are.  We can have faith that things will go the way we expect, but God is the only One that knows for sure until the battle is over.  The only absolute is that God's will is always perfect.

Although we don't know the outcome of all circumstances, we can rest assured that God fight's the battle for us and has already won the victory.  However, we must not forget that the preparation is  training.  It teaches us in ways that we might not ever understand.  God uses the prep time to give us knowledge and strength and builds wisdom. 

As a battle for my marriage ensues, divorce court seems possible, and almost, inevitable from a worldly view.  My faith tells me that God is going to do something fabulous through all of this but God gives me wisdom to prepare for whatever He has planned.  I have to be prepared for a battle even if there may not be one. Because I am letting God fight this battle for me and He has already won the victory, I have to know that preparation is training. 

I have to admit, I hesitated for a long time before getting an attorney.  I felt it was a sign of giving up or not trusting God.  If God is fighting for me, why do I need to hire someone else for the battle?  Someone who doesn't know what's best for me, like God does, isn't going to benefit me, right?

Here is the answer...God can use this preparation to teach me.  Even if my marriage doesn't end up in divorce court, I will now have the knowledge to help someone with the process.  It also has shown me how much I have, materially, that doesn't even matter to me.  The process puts in perspective things of this life. 

Even though God fights the battles for us, He wants us to be prepared for any outcome.  The preparation and training up to the battle might be the lesson He is trying to teach.  He could be helping you saddle the horse that will be for someone else's battle. 

Our battles, our struggles and yuck can be God's way of preparing us for helping someone else facing the same struggles.  Who wants advice from someone who has never had a struggle?  It's hard to put yourself in someone's shoes, or saddle for that matter, if you haven't experienced hardships in life.  I applaud those who have lived a righteous life with no struggles.  I wish I had, but the growth my struggles have caused has been amazing. God has and will continue to use this preparation for His glory. My horse is saddled and ready for battle.  Thank God the victory is His.

Get ready for your Date

I have often beat myself up with my past and the regrets.  I haven't always made the best choices in life. There have been many life lessons learned along the way.  Failures and weaknesses have caused me to trip into self-doubt and shame.

When I hear someone say, "Oh but we all make mistakes" I have to admit that my little mind has reverted to the "But not me, I'm not supposed to mess up or make mistakes." For some reason we put oursleves on this tiny pedestal of self-righteousness causing us to feel like failures if we stumble.

Well let me just tell you what I have learned from that...
In God's eyes, when we start evaluating self based on regrets, shame and our past, we are giving ourselves the focus and removing it from God.  God is jealous and isn't willing to share focus with anyone-not even oursleves.  Focusing on self is making yourself a god.  There is only One God worthy of praise.

As humans, it is very difficult not to get wrapped up in wanting to be mistake free and perfect.  Here's a nugget of news for you...you will never be perfect this side of heaven. Ha! How's that for bursting a bubble?!? A look in the mirror as I say that hurts....just hurts.  Lol

Jesus enters stage right...
As a matter of fact-we would not be able to go to heaven if it weren't for Jesus and His perfect cleansing blood.  We can never be holy enough to come face to face with God without the intercession of Christ.  God gave strict instructions to Moses not to even allow the people to touch the boundaries of the mountain that He would be coming down to.  Not even the boundaries!  And then they had to be clean, washing their clothes and preparing for His arrival.  Could you imagine someone coming to visit your house, you getting cleaned up and dressed but had to stand behind the back fence while they entered your house?

"Even the priests who regularly come near to the Lord must purify themselves so that the Lord does not break out and destroy them." Exodus 19:22 (NLT) The holiest of the people were not even holy enough to meet with the Lord on Mt. Sinai.  God had very strict orders for Moses that only allowed for him and Aaron to come up onto the mountain.

Through Jesus, our intercessor, we will live with God.  Live WITH Him.  Doesn't that just give you goose bumps?!? While on earth God is using His precious Holy Spirit in our sanctification process. He lives in us through His Spirit in order to peel layers away, cleaning us up in preparation for our big meeting with God.

When we accept Jesus into our hearts and believe that He is our way to God, we are automatically given that ticket to heaven.  However, let me give an example here: Let's say you are getting ready for a big date with  someone you really want to impress. I am talking about the person you feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with.  They give you that ooey, gooey feeling of warm, tingly "love" sickness (my husband still does that, blush) Would you just dress in ratty blue jeans or pajamas and meet at the door with no makeup and hair all goobered?  Of course not! You want to be as shined up and perfect as humanly possible.

To my point...Jesus has made the way, but don't you want to he shined up and as perfect as humanly possible for your big date with God? I do.  God has worked in me through his Holy Spirit to peel away layers of ick in order to make me cleaner for the face to face meeting.  God says come just as you are but I certainly want to show that I put every effort into giving Him my best.

If we take the lessons God gives us through our failures and really use them in growth, He can help us clean our garments and get shined up for our big date.  We shouldn't focus on the past and the regrets, instead, focus on God and let Him use the bad for His good.  Our bad, becomes His opportunity for our growth in Him and possibly someone else's.  The song "Diamonds out of Dust" is playing in my head right now.  :-) I want to be a diamond, don't you?

What's the purpose in this?

Have you ever thought about your purpose in life? Why are you even on this planet? I have often thought my purpose was to just exist. Ha! It's sometimes difficult to find purpose in the midst of struggles or slumps in your daily life.  We can get wrapped up in daily routine and minimize the fact that we all have a very specific purpose.

The number one purpose we all have is living to glorify God in what HE wants for our lives.  He has planned each detail of our lives to further His Kingdom.  "I call to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose for me." Psalms 57:2 HCSB. "Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny." Ecclesiastes 6:10 NLT

In that purpose and in His plans, God has given us each a very special role. He gave us each a spiritual gift that He expects us to use for His good.  1 Corinthians 12:4-11 HCSB says, "There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice ; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge.  The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have." 

God knew when He handed out these gifts which gift best fit each person.  He also knew where to place each person to best use the gifts given.  We are all strategically placed  in order for God's plan to be completed. 

When we figure out which gift or gifts we have, maybe He trusted you with more than one, it's very important to make use of them.  God's plans will not change if we don't tap into the gift but it may be a tougher road to travel as we head toward the finish line.  I, personally,  like the road with less bumps and pot holes.  It's too bad I didn't find that route a long time ago. (Deep regretful sigh but moving forward)

God wants us to have an abundant, joyful life.  If He didn't, He would not give gifts.  But what's the point in getting gifts if we aren't going to use them and enjoy them? What's your spiritual gift? Wisdom? Knowledge? Faith? Healing? Miracles? Prophecy? Discernment? Speaking in tongues? Translation of the speaking in tongues? Grow close with God and let Him reveal these gifts to you.  He wants to use you. Ask Him to reveal the purpose and plan for the gifts given.

Daddy-Daughter Dance

My best worship moments are in song.  God knows how to woo me because He made me.  He knows my favorite way to hear from Him is through music.  I had a hard time seeing how God fills certain needs while I am in isolation from my "normal" family life but then He speaks so loudly with His still, small voice. 

I, very often, have music playing as I get dressed and today is no exception.  I had my Ipod playing as I showered.  The song "God's Great Dance Floor" started playing.  I am not even sure who was performing it, maybe Chris Tomlin.  I have never been so moved by the words.  I didn't even get pass the title, chorus line.  God's great dance floor.  What does it mean?  God has invited us into a Daddy-daughter dance with Him.  That special moment when He makes you feel like the most special princess in the entire world. 

I have never had a need to be anybody's princess but God makes me feel like I am His. He woos me with tugs on my heart strings through these songs and makes me unaware of anyone or anything else in the room.  Just like it would be for a daddy dancing with his newly married daughter.  He plays that one song that is most special in your life.  The song that represents all that you are in Him.  He gives you that quality time with the physical touch of your heart.  It is such an emotionally soothing moment.

The ipod continued to play after He spoke to me through that song and then "All Over Again" by Catherine Mullins came on.  He began to reveal another place He fills in my life.  This song is a beautiful love song.  It puts me in pure, deep worship of all that He is to me.  I am reminded of every moment that He breathes new life into my lungs and new hope into my heart.  He shows me something new everyday that causes me to fall in love with Him like it's all fresh and new but deep and nurtured all at the same time. 

God makes it so clear that He is ALL we need and that He speaks our love language.  I have been missing out on the depth of His love for so long due to clutter and putting so much in the way. When the "music fades and all is stripped away, I simply come".  When we get rid of all the nasty, the clutter, the other gods in our life and we come to that place of complete surrender-we can really see how awesome God is as our Father, our Brother, our Husband, our Best Friend...our EVERYTHING. How does God speak to you? Have you ever thought about God's expertise in speaking your love language?  I stand in complete awe.
"No wonder the angels adore Him"

Roll the Credits

Throughout life, we all run into trouble. Storms of life hit at the most inopportune times and sometimes make us feel less than worthy to finish this life.  Some people don't deal well with the trials and decide that suicide is the answer.  They find a way to quickly end the pain and escape.  They run. 

God doesn't allow more than what He is willing to get us through.  He gives us the strength we need and the peace it takes to endure if we turn to Him. Ultimately, isn't that what the trial is about anyway? God wanting us to solely depend on Him?  Of course it is.  We should embrace the story for the beauty of God's power and love.

This journey through life can be tough and seem so overwhelming.  God knows every bit of the struggle because He lived in flesh, as Jesus, on this earth, experiencing every bit of the emotion and pain that we do.  He never sinned but paid the price of sin so that He could understand it from our point of view.  He put Himself in a place that He didn't have to in order to know exactly what we need, when we need it.

The trials, the storms of life are painful and tend to wear us thin but God rescues and makes it all worth while if we persevere and practice patience.  Sometimes LOTS of patience is necessary. 

When we get to the otherside the beautiful story of rescue and recovery, redemption and grace belong to God. He gives us the story for a reason.  You can either live in the guilt and shame and let Satan use it for his good or you can use it as God intended.  God wants to use the story for His glory.  He has it planned for the use in someone else's storm.  He will use the story of your trials and failures to show how He saves from all of it through faith.

We all enjoy the great rescue stories that the movies offer.  We want the hero to go fight the enemy, come home and tell all about it.  It's just beautiful, right? Well, why are we so afraid to tell of the story where God steps in and is the Hero?  No, the gory details don't have to be told but God doesn't give us a story and want us to hide from it.  Revelation 12:11 HCSB says, "They conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they did not love their lives in the face of death." He has written a story and wants it told.  We are to give Him all the glory. 

Our testimony is made pretty through the the blood of our Knight in Shining Armor, Jesus Christ. He wants...no He EXPECTS us to not only make His name part of the story, but make His name THE story rolling in every line of the credits.  So before you think your life isn't worth living, remember that God wrote the story.  It is His and gets all the glory.

Bring your best

Have you ever felt like you couldn't make ends meet no matter how hard you try?  Money runs out, food runs out, time runs out.  Sometimes we feel like we just can't get caught up. 

Well, I am going to give you the secret to having all that you need when you need it.  Actually, it's not a secret at all because it is clearly written in Malachi 3:8-12.  “Will a man rob God? Yet you are robbing Me! ” You ask: “How do we rob You? ” “By not making the payments of the tenth and the contributions.  You are suffering under a curse, yet you — the whole nation — are still robbing Me. Bring the full tenth into the storehouse so that there may be food in My house. Test Me in this way,” says the Lord of Hosts. “See if I will not open the floodgates of heaven and pour out a blessing for you without measure.  I will rebuke the devourer  for you, so that it will not ruin the produce of your land and your vine in your field will not fail to produce fruit,” says the Lord of Hosts. “Then all the nations will consider you fortunate, for you will be a delightful land,” says the Lord of Hosts. Malachi 3:8-12 HCSB

God owns EVERYTHING. Nothing on this earth, in this universe, in existence is here because of something we did.  God blesses us with it's use.  Even our time.  God gives us the time we have each day.  If He didn't, you would he dead. Ha! Have you ever thought of that?  If God didn't give you the next minute, you wouldn't even be reading the next line.

Because God owns it all and because of what He says in Malachi 3, we cheat Him when we don't give back to Him in thanksgiving.  God wants only a portion of what He has given.  He wants our best, off the top.  Each day, He wants a portion of our time. He doesn't want the few minutes we have after all of the chores have been done or the entertainment is complete.  He wants our best.  He wants the best of our money.  A percentage from all that we make or get.  He doesn't want what's left after taxes are paid, groceries are bought, bills are paid.  Deuteronomy 17:1 NLT says, "Never sacrafice sick or defective cattle, sheep, or goats to the Lord your God, for he detests such gifts."  He wants our best not leftovers.

When we look back at the scripture from Malachi, God promises that we will be taken care of if we do what is pleasing to Him.  If He is promising us blessings for giving in a way that is pleasing, why would we not give to Him the little that is requested? What makes paying the bill collectors more important than God? They are taking and never giving freely.  It makes no sense to me that we never want to short them but continuously short God.  And the time? We can work 10 hours a day for man, get paid a little money and may not even be appreciated. Yet, we get up everyday and go to work.

With saying that, don't give out of obligation or for what God will do in return.  Yes, God wants us to give and yes, He will bless us if we do, but God wants us to give because we love.  "Each person should do as he has decided in his heart — not reluctantly or out of necessity, for God loves a cheerful giver."
2 Corinthians 9:7 HCSB. God doesn't want us to give anything that isn't given in love for Him.  If we truly love Him and are living a life of thanksgiving for all He provides, our hearts will desire to give what He is asking for.  He only asks for a portion. 

So whether we are talking about time , money, whatever-remember that we would have NONE of it if God had not chosen to give it to us. God gave us everything.  Take time to be grateful and return to Him a portion.

Pigs can't wear pearls

According to God's law, pigs are considered unclean animals.  If you think about it from an earthly sense, you can understand why.  They eat anything, even garbage.  They quickly digest it all, unlike a cow that chews and processes food slowly.  Pigs roll in their own waste and consider it bathing.  Yuck!

Throughout my life I have often found myself trying to talk about God and what He has done for me.  He saved me from myself so many times and continues to forgive me when I ask for forgiveness and repent.  He is a loving, forgiving Father that disciplines when we need it (PRAISE GOD) and guides us with His grace and mercy to try and keep us in His will.

Unfortunately, there are people who aren't accepting of the testimony and reject it. They either are unsaved, unrepentant or just don't understand grace.  Whatever the case may be, you waste your time trying to get God's point across. Matthew 7:6 (NLT) says, "Don't waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don't throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you."

Jesus never imposed His will on people.  He never forced anyone to sit and listen to His Word.  He still doesn't. He is a gentleman that offers the gift of forgiveness and grace, neither of which we deserve.  We are none good. “Why do you call Me good? ” Jesus asked him. “No one is good but One — God." Mark 10:18 HCSB

God wants us to tell of His awesomeness.  But, if we try to tell those who clearly reject it, it is a waste of time.  It says it right there in the Bible. Why would we want to waste our time with one who rejects it, when there are so many hungry for it? There are so many who long to wear the pearls of God's promises.

I used to get so excited, as a police officer, when God would use a situation or an object to lead me into stories of how He had worked throughout my life.  It filled me with joy to know that God was using me to minister in the career that I so much enjoyed.  This proves that you don't have to be a "missionary" to be a missionary. In other words, you can be a missionary in whatever field of work you do. 

I tried to never push the Word on anyone but waited for the Holy Spirit to lead me. Often, He led me when I was less than enthusiastic but then rewarded me with Holy Spirit joy when it was all said and done.  Sometimes, even though excited, we can he intimidated by the situation or fear of rejection. Satan uses that for interference.

If I am being truthful, I have on many occasions, tried to force God on family members.  That was a different situation all together, or so I thought.  When we talk about family, it becomes personal.  We want to make sure we save them from the fires of Hell.  We take special interest in those we hold close.

So why is it that we try harder with family than strangers or acquaintances?   It might be the opposite for you.  You might feel more comfortable with strangers.  Being rejected by family lasts longer in our minds and hearts than that of a stranger that we, most likely, won't see again.  If we are all created by God for God, why don't we care about salvation for everyone the same?  Why don't we consider all  very personal?  We should.  God takes each of His people personal. We should feel responsible for each soul that we encounter. God's greatest command is to love.  When we start loving like He expects, we will find each one personal.  We are God's big family.

I find myself so excited about what God has done throughout my life and especially how He has cleaned me up. He continues to peel away layers even as I type these blogs. (I wish you could feel the flutters in my heart just thinking about it)   It took a long time to get to this place because I am very hard headed and like to do things my way.  There's been trust issues and clutter that caused me to reject the depth of a relationship that Christ wanted with me.  Remember what I said earlier...Christ will not impose on us.  He wants to desire to have Him intimately.  Having all the clutter, the other things that I made god in my life, I used up the space that God-the One True God, Adonai- wanted.

There are a lot of people that live such cluttered lives or have to have control that they are missing what Christ is offering them.  While He won't impose, He will offer through our testimony and through our hearts.  We have to be willing to share but know when we are wasting our time. A very good friend of mine said recently, "A person has to know that they need help, or want to be helped, before you can help them." 

It's our job to reach out, but God's job to save.  If we offer and are not accepted, we have fulfilled our God-given responsibility.  We plant the seed and someone else may be responsible for watering and then someone else can do the nurturing.  Ultimately,  God is responsible for the fine details in refinement.

Although it feels like we have failed, when we are rejected, God has a plan. You might have just been the beginning but He handles it to the end.  Can I get an amen?!?!? It is such a precious gift that God desires us and desires to use us to further His Kingdom.  Trust Him for guidance in how to use that gift.

Out with the old, In with the new

Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2 HCSB

During this season of my life, God has transformed me and made me look at everything so differently.  I let the Holy Spirit guide and place my steps.  Some of those steps seem crazy and really out of character for me.  Well, that's because I no longer live for me.  I live in a transformed mind that desires to do and be what God desires.  What a humbling experience it has been.

God has stripped away a lot of things from my past and my present, some of which I did not even know were holding me hostage.  Past events were I was the victim, he has had me surrender to Him.  Past events where I was the person that did the hurting, He had me surrender them to Him. He brought back things in my heart and mind that I had to make right with Him. Much of this was very painful and things I never wanted to be reminded of.

During total transformation, God reveals things that need to be removed.  Things from our past or from our present that are dark and sinful will cause a wedge between us and our Heavenly Father.  Things that subconsciously taunt our souls because of unforgiveness or shame. God wants all of it cleaned up and cleared out to make the connection beautifully-free of obstruction.  Psalm 119:42 (NLT) says, "Then I can answer those who taunt me, for I trust in Your word."

When we decide to completely surrender to His will, He will do a spiritual house cleaning.  This house cleaning may lead to things that totally baffle you. Things that make no sense and you find yourself uncomfortable doing.  However,  if you really, truly surrender, you have to obey.

While typing that, I am reminded of the story of Noah and the ark.  God commanded Noah to build a big boat to save his family from the flood.  There is nothing like being told to build a gigantic boat in the middle of dry land that will make you look crazy. Lol

I have had God ask me to do things in the last four months of my life that I am POSITIVE everyone, that knows about it, thinks I am crazy.  I have just been obedient to the calls and have faith that God intends them for good.  God is faithful and loves His children.  His ways are better than ours. He wouldn't have us walk into the wilderness and then abandon us. All of this is, clearly, backed up throughout Scripture.

When I stumbled over a year ago, God immediately gave warning deep in my heart and made it clear that things needed to change.  Boy did things change!  I surrendered and began making changes in my life and the way I think.  It was amazing!  I felt so free from the bondage of sin. I realized that all of the baggage I had from my past was making me feel unworthy of His love and setting me up for failure.  God rescued me and set my feet on the Rock that is Christ Jesus.

I had been letting my self-worth be affected by the ugly.  I have never liked attention or being in a crowd.  I didn't like celebrating me at all, even for birthdays.  I found myself thinking that my husband didn't really love me when clearly he did.  But all the yuck, that I was holding onto, was giving Satan a strong hold on my mind.  I never wanted to admit I had ever been a victim so how could I have ever released it to my Father?  I hadn't started loojing at things the way God would. God started revealing all of this, I found it so very painful.  He used my sin to break open the vault that held these things deep inside.

Well, this is where it gets interesting, God gave me the command to tell of my sin.  It's been over a year and I was being commanded to come forward with the information for NO reason, thinking in a worldly mind. But let's not forget, my mind had been transformed to Kingdom thinking.  It is far more important to please God than it is to please self and other people.  He had me reveal things that people did to me in my past that I really never wanted to think about again, let alone speak out loud. He showed what I had done to others in the past that was hurtful.  The surrender, brought about by the sin, opened flood gates for ALL the bad to be poured out.

The confession of the sin from a year ago led to me losing my family's trust, my family home, my "world". All of this from the world's way of thinking. To make things worse, God commanded me to make right, the wrongs from my past.  I had to send apology letters to those I had wronged YEARS ago.  People that I knew viewed me as their enemy.  What a wild ride this has been!

After doing all this, I should have felt like I was completely without purpose and headed to a life of empty nothing.  It's no surprise that God did just the opposite for me.  He took my obedience and blessed me with a closer intimate relationship with Him.  I lost everything, worldly speaking, but gained everything, Kingdom speaking, all at the same time.  There is something so freeing about cleaning the nasty from your heart and mind and following God's lead.

I miss my family and living in my new house, getting to share all of it with my husband.  I have received nasty, hate texts in response to the apology letters.  But this is what I have really gained...I see God building a bigger and better life for me. I have faith that the entire process was to make my family stronger but it is in God's hands and completely His will. He has given me a deeper, more unconditional love for my husband.  I have gained a perspective of Kingdom thinking.  In the past, I would have responded to the hate texts with more hate and maybe held a grudge.  With surrender to Holy Spirit power, I see the hate texts for what they really are.  God has shown me how truly deep the pain is from what I have done.  He has given me eyes to see that He needs me to pray for the healing that has yet to come.  He has burdened my heart with love for the ones who hate.  By revealing how deep my hurt was from the past hurts caused by others, I feel He is going to use me to help people who have experienced the same kind of hurt.

I ask that you pray for my family and me.  God is in control and has great plans for all of us.  I am in complete surrender and waiting for God's guidance in EVERY step.  It's a refining transformation that hurts in a good way.  If you haven't completely surrendered, you are missing out on His exceedingly superabundant beyond plan for your life.  Dying to self and living fully in Christ brings peace that passes all understanding.  "And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7 HCSB

Ignore it. It'll go away

Have you ever heard the saying, "Ignore it and maybe it'll go away"? I have heard it a million times as my mother would joke about my siblings or me hanging around being silly. The statement was just cute and funny when she used it like that and brings back good memories. 

Truth be told--that statement will cause so much harm and despair when regarding real life problems.  I recently read this in a book, "We must face our pain to overcome it. With God, it is possible."  Those two sentences hit me square in my face.

We find oursleves hurt by the people we trust the most.  The physical, mental, emotional trauma caused by these events can haunt for years.

The big problem is the silence that we give these events.  We let them fester inside and some never, ever get told to anyone.  The thoughts, the unforgiveness, can hold us hostage in a world of self-esteem issues and  destructive behavior.  The hurt will eventually be suppressed with the memories so that we can live a "normal" life. 

Isn't that what we do?  We are victimized and yet feel like we are at fault.  Our thoughts, Satan's lies, tell us that we did something to deserve what happened.  We keep it bottled up inside, afraid to tell anyone until it just becomes part of who we are.

The pain of the past can bring such devestation to your life if left unaddressed.  We can't overcome an issue until we face it head on and give it to God. He is a Healer and will take it and use it for good.  "You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result — the survival of many people." Genesis 50:20 HCSB

Sometimes God will allow us to face a trail, whether we caused the trial or He did, in order to start a serious healing process. As we make our way through the trial, God slowly reveals the things to us that are hindering us from living an abundant life in Him.  Things that haunt us from our past will be brought back to vivid memory so that you can give it to Him.

The healing process can take years if we try to avoid it and take short cuts.  If we give forgiveness to the person that hurt us but don't give God the shame that we feel for being the victim or the other way around, we can't be fully healed.

It may take several trials before we realize the point God is trying make.  (Been there, done that, ouch) The good thing is that God loves us enough to keep trying.  He wants to make us better through healing our wounds.  Bandages to cover the wounds are temporary.  A complete God-healing is the only true way to freedom. 

God recently revealed pain from my (very long ago) past that I hadn't fully given to Him.  I suppressed the pain and shame until it caused me to stumble and fall.  Jeremiah 8:4 says, "Jeremiah say to the people," This is what the Lord says, "When people fall down, don't they get back up again? When they discover they are on the wrong road, don't they turn back?"   I can honestly say...I feel so healed, clean and free from my past hurts.  God has helped me back up and has gotten me on the right road.  He has showed His loving faithfulness in every step.  I give Him all the glory for the refinement!

Lingering pain, unresolved hurt, can destroy.  Give it to the only One who heals in completion.  I pray for any of you that find yourselves living with pain from the past.  God can use that pain to show His glory through miraculous healing.  He has done it for me and I praise Him for it. 

The Shepherd

Jehovah Rohi, a name describing God as our Shepherd. We are God's sheep, His flock.  When we get to know Him, we learn His voice.  The last part of John 10:3 says, "...and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him."

If you read the first half of John 10, Jesus explains what it means for Him to be our Shepherd.  He speaks about how a shepherd owns his flock.  A hired hand doesn't own the flock so their interest in protecting deminishes at the threat of wolves.

I learned a very valuable lesson regarding this while on my run yesterday.  I got an, extremely, uneasy feeling as I felt a presence behind me. I had my ear buds in and didn't hear anything but when I glanced behind, I saw a white panel van slowly trailing behind me.

I have to say, it was unsettling and caused a bit of worry at first.  There are very few houses on my path and most are empty during the day.  I started praying and pulled my phone out of my pocket.  I was going to be ready to call 911 if I got into a situation. 

As I was pulling my phone from my pocket, I got a text regarding a totally unrelated matter.  I then reported to this person that I felt uneasy about this van and asked them to call me if I hadn't texted back in about 5 minutes. I was thankful to God for the provision of distraction and comfort.

The van disappeared into a wooded, dirt path and I lost sight of it.  I picked up the pace and headed home.  As I rounded the corner, a very large white bull dog decided to stand in the middle of the path and challenge me.  Lol. This morning just kept getting better and better.

In that moment, of what felt like real, present danger (being that I have been bitten by SO many dogs) I started calling on the name of Jesus.  I know that anyone that heard me (which was probably no one since it's so country) probably that I was crazy.  But, crazy or not (I am crazy about Jesus) I picked up a stick and kept going.  The dog turned and ran the opposite direction taking his nasty attitude and giant head with him.

When I got home, I texted the friend and reported that all was okay.  It was then that God started breaking open the LIFE lesson book and spoke to me.  He reminded me that HE is the only Protector I need.  Worldly "hired hands", friends, spouses, family are put on earth to fulfill the role of companionship and sharing in God's great creation. We should not rely on them, but completely trust in Him.

Another point He made was found in the parable of the lost sheep Luke 15.  People, our "hired hands", will abandon us when we go astray.  They see our failures and mistakes as diseases that they want to protect themselves from, the "wolves".

In the parable of the lost sheep, Jesus explains that he will leave 99 sheep to retrieve the 1 who has gone astray.  To take it further, verse 5 says "And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders." Jesus doesn't toss you out when you mess up.  He tries to get you back into righteousness.  He doesn't just lead you, HE CARRIES YOU ON HIS SHOULDER.  How amazing is that?  He rejoices with "more joy" over the one repentant soul than he does for the ones that are righteous and haven't strayed.

The Lord is my Shepherd...Psalm 23 explains in detail His promises of green pastures and goodness.  This was a hard lesson for me but one much needed and I am grateful for it.

I am so confident that My Shepherd will always protect me and care for me as his special possession.   He will not abandon me in times of trouble or failure-leaving me for destruction by "wolves" or panel vans or very big dogs.