Foiled Again??

We have all faced interference at some point in our lives.  Our plans to go to a particular university foiled by a lack of funding.  Our vacation ruined with inclimate weather.  The boyfriend we thought we would marry does something that breaks the relationship.  I could go on and on.

Have you ever thought of this as God's intervention in our lives?  Just because things didn't go as we planned, doesn't mean that it didn't go as planned.  "You can make many plans, but the Lord ’s purpose will prevail." Proverbs 19:21 NLT. God decided for us, before we were conceived, what His purpose would be in our lives.

God runs interference for us.  The marriage that you wanted, God intervened so that you would end up with a better man.  The vacation ruined with inclimate weather probably gave you more rest than you thought you needed.  The university that you thought you were supposed to attend, well, the one you did attend might be where God placed your future spouse or your job offer.

God has it all planned out.  You might try to get in His way and you may slow things down but you can't make His plan fail.  Instead of the straight shot to the finish line you make the zigzag but the finish line never changes.  Oh, if I had listened a long time ago-the steps would I have saved. Ha!

Sometimes our plans are hindered by enemies or people who play the part of enemy because they let Satan use them. They get played as a fool by the old dirty geezer. He can use them to bring confusion and chaos to those who aren't firmly grounded in Christ.  That is why standing on God's Word is so important.  Knowing God's promises is the best defense against these kinds of people.  "What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?" Romans 8:31 NLT 

God will not let the enemy foil His plan.  Now he (Satan) will give it the old college try and bring the weaker of the human race on board to help, but God has ways to deal with that too. God protects His people and brings blessings to those that follow His instruction.

God can give strength and knowledge that can make us capable of anything.  If it's in His plan for you to accomplish, you can be assured that He will give you what you need to accomplish it.  God makes the impossible, possible.  I've seen it happen.  It's kind of like the mailman motto, "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds".  God doesn't let anything stand in the way of His rounds either.

Saddle the horses

In my career as a police officer, I had to prepare for court.  I didn't always have the luxury of having an attorney fighting for me so I had to present my own cases.  I had to act as the attorney for the prosecution even if the defendant had an attorney.  Talk about intimidating! Going up against someone skilled in fighting court battles with law degrees and pretty certificates hanging on the wall could sometimes be nerve rattling.

I always went into the court room prepared even if I knew the defendant was going to plead guilty without a fight.  I wanted to make sure that I did the best job I could or the work would all be for nothing.  With God's strength and guidance, I had great success in my conviction rate.

Being prepared, even if you aren't sure there will even be a battle, is the wise thing to do.  Because we never know how things might go, a battle plan is always good.

Proverbs 21:31 (NLT) says, "The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord." This verse reminds me that we don't know what God's plans are.  We can have faith that things will go the way we expect, but God is the only One that knows for sure until the battle is over.  The only absolute is that God's will is always perfect.

Although we don't know the outcome of all circumstances, we can rest assured that God fight's the battle for us and has already won the victory.  However, we must not forget that the preparation is  training.  It teaches us in ways that we might not ever understand.  God uses the prep time to give us knowledge and strength and builds wisdom. 

As a battle for my marriage ensues, divorce court seems possible, and almost, inevitable from a worldly view.  My faith tells me that God is going to do something fabulous through all of this but God gives me wisdom to prepare for whatever He has planned.  I have to be prepared for a battle even if there may not be one. Because I am letting God fight this battle for me and He has already won the victory, I have to know that preparation is training. 

I have to admit, I hesitated for a long time before getting an attorney.  I felt it was a sign of giving up or not trusting God.  If God is fighting for me, why do I need to hire someone else for the battle?  Someone who doesn't know what's best for me, like God does, isn't going to benefit me, right?

Here is the answer...God can use this preparation to teach me.  Even if my marriage doesn't end up in divorce court, I will now have the knowledge to help someone with the process.  It also has shown me how much I have, materially, that doesn't even matter to me.  The process puts in perspective things of this life. 

Even though God fights the battles for us, He wants us to be prepared for any outcome.  The preparation and training up to the battle might be the lesson He is trying to teach.  He could be helping you saddle the horse that will be for someone else's battle. 

Our battles, our struggles and yuck can be God's way of preparing us for helping someone else facing the same struggles.  Who wants advice from someone who has never had a struggle?  It's hard to put yourself in someone's shoes, or saddle for that matter, if you haven't experienced hardships in life.  I applaud those who have lived a righteous life with no struggles.  I wish I had, but the growth my struggles have caused has been amazing. God has and will continue to use this preparation for His glory. My horse is saddled and ready for battle.  Thank God the victory is His.

Get ready for your Date

I have often beat myself up with my past and the regrets.  I haven't always made the best choices in life. There have been many life lessons learned along the way.  Failures and weaknesses have caused me to trip into self-doubt and shame.

When I hear someone say, "Oh but we all make mistakes" I have to admit that my little mind has reverted to the "But not me, I'm not supposed to mess up or make mistakes." For some reason we put oursleves on this tiny pedestal of self-righteousness causing us to feel like failures if we stumble.

Well let me just tell you what I have learned from that...
In God's eyes, when we start evaluating self based on regrets, shame and our past, we are giving ourselves the focus and removing it from God.  God is jealous and isn't willing to share focus with anyone-not even oursleves.  Focusing on self is making yourself a god.  There is only One God worthy of praise.

As humans, it is very difficult not to get wrapped up in wanting to be mistake free and perfect.  Here's a nugget of news for you...you will never be perfect this side of heaven. Ha! How's that for bursting a bubble?!? A look in the mirror as I say that hurts....just hurts.  Lol

Jesus enters stage right...
As a matter of fact-we would not be able to go to heaven if it weren't for Jesus and His perfect cleansing blood.  We can never be holy enough to come face to face with God without the intercession of Christ.  God gave strict instructions to Moses not to even allow the people to touch the boundaries of the mountain that He would be coming down to.  Not even the boundaries!  And then they had to be clean, washing their clothes and preparing for His arrival.  Could you imagine someone coming to visit your house, you getting cleaned up and dressed but had to stand behind the back fence while they entered your house?

"Even the priests who regularly come near to the Lord must purify themselves so that the Lord does not break out and destroy them." Exodus 19:22 (NLT) The holiest of the people were not even holy enough to meet with the Lord on Mt. Sinai.  God had very strict orders for Moses that only allowed for him and Aaron to come up onto the mountain.

Through Jesus, our intercessor, we will live with God.  Live WITH Him.  Doesn't that just give you goose bumps?!? While on earth God is using His precious Holy Spirit in our sanctification process. He lives in us through His Spirit in order to peel layers away, cleaning us up in preparation for our big meeting with God.

When we accept Jesus into our hearts and believe that He is our way to God, we are automatically given that ticket to heaven.  However, let me give an example here: Let's say you are getting ready for a big date with  someone you really want to impress. I am talking about the person you feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with.  They give you that ooey, gooey feeling of warm, tingly "love" sickness (my husband still does that, blush) Would you just dress in ratty blue jeans or pajamas and meet at the door with no makeup and hair all goobered?  Of course not! You want to be as shined up and perfect as humanly possible.

To my point...Jesus has made the way, but don't you want to he shined up and as perfect as humanly possible for your big date with God? I do.  God has worked in me through his Holy Spirit to peel away layers of ick in order to make me cleaner for the face to face meeting.  God says come just as you are but I certainly want to show that I put every effort into giving Him my best.

If we take the lessons God gives us through our failures and really use them in growth, He can help us clean our garments and get shined up for our big date.  We shouldn't focus on the past and the regrets, instead, focus on God and let Him use the bad for His good.  Our bad, becomes His opportunity for our growth in Him and possibly someone else's.  The song "Diamonds out of Dust" is playing in my head right now.  :-) I want to be a diamond, don't you?

What's the purpose in this?

Have you ever thought about your purpose in life? Why are you even on this planet? I have often thought my purpose was to just exist. Ha! It's sometimes difficult to find purpose in the midst of struggles or slumps in your daily life.  We can get wrapped up in daily routine and minimize the fact that we all have a very specific purpose.

The number one purpose we all have is living to glorify God in what HE wants for our lives.  He has planned each detail of our lives to further His Kingdom.  "I call to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose for me." Psalms 57:2 HCSB. "Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny." Ecclesiastes 6:10 NLT

In that purpose and in His plans, God has given us each a very special role. He gave us each a spiritual gift that He expects us to use for His good.  1 Corinthians 12:4-11 HCSB says, "There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice ; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge.  The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have." 

God knew when He handed out these gifts which gift best fit each person.  He also knew where to place each person to best use the gifts given.  We are all strategically placed  in order for God's plan to be completed. 

When we figure out which gift or gifts we have, maybe He trusted you with more than one, it's very important to make use of them.  God's plans will not change if we don't tap into the gift but it may be a tougher road to travel as we head toward the finish line.  I, personally,  like the road with less bumps and pot holes.  It's too bad I didn't find that route a long time ago. (Deep regretful sigh but moving forward)

God wants us to have an abundant, joyful life.  If He didn't, He would not give gifts.  But what's the point in getting gifts if we aren't going to use them and enjoy them? What's your spiritual gift? Wisdom? Knowledge? Faith? Healing? Miracles? Prophecy? Discernment? Speaking in tongues? Translation of the speaking in tongues? Grow close with God and let Him reveal these gifts to you.  He wants to use you. Ask Him to reveal the purpose and plan for the gifts given.

Daddy-Daughter Dance

My best worship moments are in song.  God knows how to woo me because He made me.  He knows my favorite way to hear from Him is through music.  I had a hard time seeing how God fills certain needs while I am in isolation from my "normal" family life but then He speaks so loudly with His still, small voice. 

I, very often, have music playing as I get dressed and today is no exception.  I had my Ipod playing as I showered.  The song "God's Great Dance Floor" started playing.  I am not even sure who was performing it, maybe Chris Tomlin.  I have never been so moved by the words.  I didn't even get pass the title, chorus line.  God's great dance floor.  What does it mean?  God has invited us into a Daddy-daughter dance with Him.  That special moment when He makes you feel like the most special princess in the entire world. 

I have never had a need to be anybody's princess but God makes me feel like I am His. He woos me with tugs on my heart strings through these songs and makes me unaware of anyone or anything else in the room.  Just like it would be for a daddy dancing with his newly married daughter.  He plays that one song that is most special in your life.  The song that represents all that you are in Him.  He gives you that quality time with the physical touch of your heart.  It is such an emotionally soothing moment.

The ipod continued to play after He spoke to me through that song and then "All Over Again" by Catherine Mullins came on.  He began to reveal another place He fills in my life.  This song is a beautiful love song.  It puts me in pure, deep worship of all that He is to me.  I am reminded of every moment that He breathes new life into my lungs and new hope into my heart.  He shows me something new everyday that causes me to fall in love with Him like it's all fresh and new but deep and nurtured all at the same time. 

God makes it so clear that He is ALL we need and that He speaks our love language.  I have been missing out on the depth of His love for so long due to clutter and putting so much in the way. When the "music fades and all is stripped away, I simply come".  When we get rid of all the nasty, the clutter, the other gods in our life and we come to that place of complete surrender-we can really see how awesome God is as our Father, our Brother, our Husband, our Best Friend...our EVERYTHING. How does God speak to you? Have you ever thought about God's expertise in speaking your love language?  I stand in complete awe.
"No wonder the angels adore Him"

Roll the Credits

Throughout life, we all run into trouble. Storms of life hit at the most inopportune times and sometimes make us feel less than worthy to finish this life.  Some people don't deal well with the trials and decide that suicide is the answer.  They find a way to quickly end the pain and escape.  They run. 

God doesn't allow more than what He is willing to get us through.  He gives us the strength we need and the peace it takes to endure if we turn to Him. Ultimately, isn't that what the trial is about anyway? God wanting us to solely depend on Him?  Of course it is.  We should embrace the story for the beauty of God's power and love.

This journey through life can be tough and seem so overwhelming.  God knows every bit of the struggle because He lived in flesh, as Jesus, on this earth, experiencing every bit of the emotion and pain that we do.  He never sinned but paid the price of sin so that He could understand it from our point of view.  He put Himself in a place that He didn't have to in order to know exactly what we need, when we need it.

The trials, the storms of life are painful and tend to wear us thin but God rescues and makes it all worth while if we persevere and practice patience.  Sometimes LOTS of patience is necessary. 

When we get to the otherside the beautiful story of rescue and recovery, redemption and grace belong to God. He gives us the story for a reason.  You can either live in the guilt and shame and let Satan use it for his good or you can use it as God intended.  God wants to use the story for His glory.  He has it planned for the use in someone else's storm.  He will use the story of your trials and failures to show how He saves from all of it through faith.

We all enjoy the great rescue stories that the movies offer.  We want the hero to go fight the enemy, come home and tell all about it.  It's just beautiful, right? Well, why are we so afraid to tell of the story where God steps in and is the Hero?  No, the gory details don't have to be told but God doesn't give us a story and want us to hide from it.  Revelation 12:11 HCSB says, "They conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they did not love their lives in the face of death." He has written a story and wants it told.  We are to give Him all the glory. 

Our testimony is made pretty through the the blood of our Knight in Shining Armor, Jesus Christ. He wants...no He EXPECTS us to not only make His name part of the story, but make His name THE story rolling in every line of the credits.  So before you think your life isn't worth living, remember that God wrote the story.  It is His and gets all the glory.

Bring your best

Have you ever felt like you couldn't make ends meet no matter how hard you try?  Money runs out, food runs out, time runs out.  Sometimes we feel like we just can't get caught up. 

Well, I am going to give you the secret to having all that you need when you need it.  Actually, it's not a secret at all because it is clearly written in Malachi 3:8-12.  “Will a man rob God? Yet you are robbing Me! ” You ask: “How do we rob You? ” “By not making the payments of the tenth and the contributions.  You are suffering under a curse, yet you — the whole nation — are still robbing Me. Bring the full tenth into the storehouse so that there may be food in My house. Test Me in this way,” says the Lord of Hosts. “See if I will not open the floodgates of heaven and pour out a blessing for you without measure.  I will rebuke the devourer  for you, so that it will not ruin the produce of your land and your vine in your field will not fail to produce fruit,” says the Lord of Hosts. “Then all the nations will consider you fortunate, for you will be a delightful land,” says the Lord of Hosts. Malachi 3:8-12 HCSB

God owns EVERYTHING. Nothing on this earth, in this universe, in existence is here because of something we did.  God blesses us with it's use.  Even our time.  God gives us the time we have each day.  If He didn't, you would he dead. Ha! Have you ever thought of that?  If God didn't give you the next minute, you wouldn't even be reading the next line.

Because God owns it all and because of what He says in Malachi 3, we cheat Him when we don't give back to Him in thanksgiving.  God wants only a portion of what He has given.  He wants our best, off the top.  Each day, He wants a portion of our time. He doesn't want the few minutes we have after all of the chores have been done or the entertainment is complete.  He wants our best.  He wants the best of our money.  A percentage from all that we make or get.  He doesn't want what's left after taxes are paid, groceries are bought, bills are paid.  Deuteronomy 17:1 NLT says, "Never sacrafice sick or defective cattle, sheep, or goats to the Lord your God, for he detests such gifts."  He wants our best not leftovers.

When we look back at the scripture from Malachi, God promises that we will be taken care of if we do what is pleasing to Him.  If He is promising us blessings for giving in a way that is pleasing, why would we not give to Him the little that is requested? What makes paying the bill collectors more important than God? They are taking and never giving freely.  It makes no sense to me that we never want to short them but continuously short God.  And the time? We can work 10 hours a day for man, get paid a little money and may not even be appreciated. Yet, we get up everyday and go to work.

With saying that, don't give out of obligation or for what God will do in return.  Yes, God wants us to give and yes, He will bless us if we do, but God wants us to give because we love.  "Each person should do as he has decided in his heart — not reluctantly or out of necessity, for God loves a cheerful giver."
2 Corinthians 9:7 HCSB. God doesn't want us to give anything that isn't given in love for Him.  If we truly love Him and are living a life of thanksgiving for all He provides, our hearts will desire to give what He is asking for.  He only asks for a portion. 

So whether we are talking about time , money, whatever-remember that we would have NONE of it if God had not chosen to give it to us. God gave us everything.  Take time to be grateful and return to Him a portion.

Pigs can't wear pearls

According to God's law, pigs are considered unclean animals.  If you think about it from an earthly sense, you can understand why.  They eat anything, even garbage.  They quickly digest it all, unlike a cow that chews and processes food slowly.  Pigs roll in their own waste and consider it bathing.  Yuck!

Throughout my life I have often found myself trying to talk about God and what He has done for me.  He saved me from myself so many times and continues to forgive me when I ask for forgiveness and repent.  He is a loving, forgiving Father that disciplines when we need it (PRAISE GOD) and guides us with His grace and mercy to try and keep us in His will.

Unfortunately, there are people who aren't accepting of the testimony and reject it. They either are unsaved, unrepentant or just don't understand grace.  Whatever the case may be, you waste your time trying to get God's point across. Matthew 7:6 (NLT) says, "Don't waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don't throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you."

Jesus never imposed His will on people.  He never forced anyone to sit and listen to His Word.  He still doesn't. He is a gentleman that offers the gift of forgiveness and grace, neither of which we deserve.  We are none good. “Why do you call Me good? ” Jesus asked him. “No one is good but One — God." Mark 10:18 HCSB

God wants us to tell of His awesomeness.  But, if we try to tell those who clearly reject it, it is a waste of time.  It says it right there in the Bible. Why would we want to waste our time with one who rejects it, when there are so many hungry for it? There are so many who long to wear the pearls of God's promises.

I used to get so excited, as a police officer, when God would use a situation or an object to lead me into stories of how He had worked throughout my life.  It filled me with joy to know that God was using me to minister in the career that I so much enjoyed.  This proves that you don't have to be a "missionary" to be a missionary. In other words, you can be a missionary in whatever field of work you do. 

I tried to never push the Word on anyone but waited for the Holy Spirit to lead me. Often, He led me when I was less than enthusiastic but then rewarded me with Holy Spirit joy when it was all said and done.  Sometimes, even though excited, we can he intimidated by the situation or fear of rejection. Satan uses that for interference.

If I am being truthful, I have on many occasions, tried to force God on family members.  That was a different situation all together, or so I thought.  When we talk about family, it becomes personal.  We want to make sure we save them from the fires of Hell.  We take special interest in those we hold close.

So why is it that we try harder with family than strangers or acquaintances?   It might be the opposite for you.  You might feel more comfortable with strangers.  Being rejected by family lasts longer in our minds and hearts than that of a stranger that we, most likely, won't see again.  If we are all created by God for God, why don't we care about salvation for everyone the same?  Why don't we consider all  very personal?  We should.  God takes each of His people personal. We should feel responsible for each soul that we encounter. God's greatest command is to love.  When we start loving like He expects, we will find each one personal.  We are God's big family.

I find myself so excited about what God has done throughout my life and especially how He has cleaned me up. He continues to peel away layers even as I type these blogs. (I wish you could feel the flutters in my heart just thinking about it)   It took a long time to get to this place because I am very hard headed and like to do things my way.  There's been trust issues and clutter that caused me to reject the depth of a relationship that Christ wanted with me.  Remember what I said earlier...Christ will not impose on us.  He wants to desire to have Him intimately.  Having all the clutter, the other things that I made god in my life, I used up the space that God-the One True God, Adonai- wanted.

There are a lot of people that live such cluttered lives or have to have control that they are missing what Christ is offering them.  While He won't impose, He will offer through our testimony and through our hearts.  We have to be willing to share but know when we are wasting our time. A very good friend of mine said recently, "A person has to know that they need help, or want to be helped, before you can help them." 

It's our job to reach out, but God's job to save.  If we offer and are not accepted, we have fulfilled our God-given responsibility.  We plant the seed and someone else may be responsible for watering and then someone else can do the nurturing.  Ultimately,  God is responsible for the fine details in refinement.

Although it feels like we have failed, when we are rejected, God has a plan. You might have just been the beginning but He handles it to the end.  Can I get an amen?!?!? It is such a precious gift that God desires us and desires to use us to further His Kingdom.  Trust Him for guidance in how to use that gift.

Out with the old, In with the new

Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2 HCSB

During this season of my life, God has transformed me and made me look at everything so differently.  I let the Holy Spirit guide and place my steps.  Some of those steps seem crazy and really out of character for me.  Well, that's because I no longer live for me.  I live in a transformed mind that desires to do and be what God desires.  What a humbling experience it has been.

God has stripped away a lot of things from my past and my present, some of which I did not even know were holding me hostage.  Past events were I was the victim, he has had me surrender to Him.  Past events where I was the person that did the hurting, He had me surrender them to Him. He brought back things in my heart and mind that I had to make right with Him. Much of this was very painful and things I never wanted to be reminded of.

During total transformation, God reveals things that need to be removed.  Things from our past or from our present that are dark and sinful will cause a wedge between us and our Heavenly Father.  Things that subconsciously taunt our souls because of unforgiveness or shame. God wants all of it cleaned up and cleared out to make the connection beautifully-free of obstruction.  Psalm 119:42 (NLT) says, "Then I can answer those who taunt me, for I trust in Your word."

When we decide to completely surrender to His will, He will do a spiritual house cleaning.  This house cleaning may lead to things that totally baffle you. Things that make no sense and you find yourself uncomfortable doing.  However,  if you really, truly surrender, you have to obey.

While typing that, I am reminded of the story of Noah and the ark.  God commanded Noah to build a big boat to save his family from the flood.  There is nothing like being told to build a gigantic boat in the middle of dry land that will make you look crazy. Lol

I have had God ask me to do things in the last four months of my life that I am POSITIVE everyone, that knows about it, thinks I am crazy.  I have just been obedient to the calls and have faith that God intends them for good.  God is faithful and loves His children.  His ways are better than ours. He wouldn't have us walk into the wilderness and then abandon us. All of this is, clearly, backed up throughout Scripture.

When I stumbled over a year ago, God immediately gave warning deep in my heart and made it clear that things needed to change.  Boy did things change!  I surrendered and began making changes in my life and the way I think.  It was amazing!  I felt so free from the bondage of sin. I realized that all of the baggage I had from my past was making me feel unworthy of His love and setting me up for failure.  God rescued me and set my feet on the Rock that is Christ Jesus.

I had been letting my self-worth be affected by the ugly.  I have never liked attention or being in a crowd.  I didn't like celebrating me at all, even for birthdays.  I found myself thinking that my husband didn't really love me when clearly he did.  But all the yuck, that I was holding onto, was giving Satan a strong hold on my mind.  I never wanted to admit I had ever been a victim so how could I have ever released it to my Father?  I hadn't started loojing at things the way God would. God started revealing all of this, I found it so very painful.  He used my sin to break open the vault that held these things deep inside.

Well, this is where it gets interesting, God gave me the command to tell of my sin.  It's been over a year and I was being commanded to come forward with the information for NO reason, thinking in a worldly mind. But let's not forget, my mind had been transformed to Kingdom thinking.  It is far more important to please God than it is to please self and other people.  He had me reveal things that people did to me in my past that I really never wanted to think about again, let alone speak out loud. He showed what I had done to others in the past that was hurtful.  The surrender, brought about by the sin, opened flood gates for ALL the bad to be poured out.

The confession of the sin from a year ago led to me losing my family's trust, my family home, my "world". All of this from the world's way of thinking. To make things worse, God commanded me to make right, the wrongs from my past.  I had to send apology letters to those I had wronged YEARS ago.  People that I knew viewed me as their enemy.  What a wild ride this has been!

After doing all this, I should have felt like I was completely without purpose and headed to a life of empty nothing.  It's no surprise that God did just the opposite for me.  He took my obedience and blessed me with a closer intimate relationship with Him.  I lost everything, worldly speaking, but gained everything, Kingdom speaking, all at the same time.  There is something so freeing about cleaning the nasty from your heart and mind and following God's lead.

I miss my family and living in my new house, getting to share all of it with my husband.  I have received nasty, hate texts in response to the apology letters.  But this is what I have really gained...I see God building a bigger and better life for me. I have faith that the entire process was to make my family stronger but it is in God's hands and completely His will. He has given me a deeper, more unconditional love for my husband.  I have gained a perspective of Kingdom thinking.  In the past, I would have responded to the hate texts with more hate and maybe held a grudge.  With surrender to Holy Spirit power, I see the hate texts for what they really are.  God has shown me how truly deep the pain is from what I have done.  He has given me eyes to see that He needs me to pray for the healing that has yet to come.  He has burdened my heart with love for the ones who hate.  By revealing how deep my hurt was from the past hurts caused by others, I feel He is going to use me to help people who have experienced the same kind of hurt.

I ask that you pray for my family and me.  God is in control and has great plans for all of us.  I am in complete surrender and waiting for God's guidance in EVERY step.  It's a refining transformation that hurts in a good way.  If you haven't completely surrendered, you are missing out on His exceedingly superabundant beyond plan for your life.  Dying to self and living fully in Christ brings peace that passes all understanding.  "And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7 HCSB

Ignore it. It'll go away

Have you ever heard the saying, "Ignore it and maybe it'll go away"? I have heard it a million times as my mother would joke about my siblings or me hanging around being silly. The statement was just cute and funny when she used it like that and brings back good memories. 

Truth be told--that statement will cause so much harm and despair when regarding real life problems.  I recently read this in a book, "We must face our pain to overcome it. With God, it is possible."  Those two sentences hit me square in my face.

We find oursleves hurt by the people we trust the most.  The physical, mental, emotional trauma caused by these events can haunt for years.

The big problem is the silence that we give these events.  We let them fester inside and some never, ever get told to anyone.  The thoughts, the unforgiveness, can hold us hostage in a world of self-esteem issues and  destructive behavior.  The hurt will eventually be suppressed with the memories so that we can live a "normal" life. 

Isn't that what we do?  We are victimized and yet feel like we are at fault.  Our thoughts, Satan's lies, tell us that we did something to deserve what happened.  We keep it bottled up inside, afraid to tell anyone until it just becomes part of who we are.

The pain of the past can bring such devestation to your life if left unaddressed.  We can't overcome an issue until we face it head on and give it to God. He is a Healer and will take it and use it for good.  "You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result — the survival of many people." Genesis 50:20 HCSB

Sometimes God will allow us to face a trail, whether we caused the trial or He did, in order to start a serious healing process. As we make our way through the trial, God slowly reveals the things to us that are hindering us from living an abundant life in Him.  Things that haunt us from our past will be brought back to vivid memory so that you can give it to Him.

The healing process can take years if we try to avoid it and take short cuts.  If we give forgiveness to the person that hurt us but don't give God the shame that we feel for being the victim or the other way around, we can't be fully healed.

It may take several trials before we realize the point God is trying make.  (Been there, done that, ouch) The good thing is that God loves us enough to keep trying.  He wants to make us better through healing our wounds.  Bandages to cover the wounds are temporary.  A complete God-healing is the only true way to freedom. 

God recently revealed pain from my (very long ago) past that I hadn't fully given to Him.  I suppressed the pain and shame until it caused me to stumble and fall.  Jeremiah 8:4 says, "Jeremiah say to the people," This is what the Lord says, "When people fall down, don't they get back up again? When they discover they are on the wrong road, don't they turn back?"   I can honestly say...I feel so healed, clean and free from my past hurts.  God has helped me back up and has gotten me on the right road.  He has showed His loving faithfulness in every step.  I give Him all the glory for the refinement!

Lingering pain, unresolved hurt, can destroy.  Give it to the only One who heals in completion.  I pray for any of you that find yourselves living with pain from the past.  God can use that pain to show His glory through miraculous healing.  He has done it for me and I praise Him for it. 

The Shepherd

Jehovah Rohi, a name describing God as our Shepherd. We are God's sheep, His flock.  When we get to know Him, we learn His voice.  The last part of John 10:3 says, "...and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him."

If you read the first half of John 10, Jesus explains what it means for Him to be our Shepherd.  He speaks about how a shepherd owns his flock.  A hired hand doesn't own the flock so their interest in protecting deminishes at the threat of wolves.

I learned a very valuable lesson regarding this while on my run yesterday.  I got an, extremely, uneasy feeling as I felt a presence behind me. I had my ear buds in and didn't hear anything but when I glanced behind, I saw a white panel van slowly trailing behind me.

I have to say, it was unsettling and caused a bit of worry at first.  There are very few houses on my path and most are empty during the day.  I started praying and pulled my phone out of my pocket.  I was going to be ready to call 911 if I got into a situation. 

As I was pulling my phone from my pocket, I got a text regarding a totally unrelated matter.  I then reported to this person that I felt uneasy about this van and asked them to call me if I hadn't texted back in about 5 minutes. I was thankful to God for the provision of distraction and comfort.

The van disappeared into a wooded, dirt path and I lost sight of it.  I picked up the pace and headed home.  As I rounded the corner, a very large white bull dog decided to stand in the middle of the path and challenge me.  Lol. This morning just kept getting better and better.

In that moment, of what felt like real, present danger (being that I have been bitten by SO many dogs) I started calling on the name of Jesus.  I know that anyone that heard me (which was probably no one since it's so country) probably that I was crazy.  But, crazy or not (I am crazy about Jesus) I picked up a stick and kept going.  The dog turned and ran the opposite direction taking his nasty attitude and giant head with him.

When I got home, I texted the friend and reported that all was okay.  It was then that God started breaking open the LIFE lesson book and spoke to me.  He reminded me that HE is the only Protector I need.  Worldly "hired hands", friends, spouses, family are put on earth to fulfill the role of companionship and sharing in God's great creation. We should not rely on them, but completely trust in Him.

Another point He made was found in the parable of the lost sheep Luke 15.  People, our "hired hands", will abandon us when we go astray.  They see our failures and mistakes as diseases that they want to protect themselves from, the "wolves".

In the parable of the lost sheep, Jesus explains that he will leave 99 sheep to retrieve the 1 who has gone astray.  To take it further, verse 5 says "And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders." Jesus doesn't toss you out when you mess up.  He tries to get you back into righteousness.  He doesn't just lead you, HE CARRIES YOU ON HIS SHOULDER.  How amazing is that?  He rejoices with "more joy" over the one repentant soul than he does for the ones that are righteous and haven't strayed.

The Lord is my Shepherd...Psalm 23 explains in detail His promises of green pastures and goodness.  This was a hard lesson for me but one much needed and I am grateful for it.

I am so confident that My Shepherd will always protect me and care for me as his special possession.   He will not abandon me in times of trouble or failure-leaving me for destruction by "wolves" or panel vans or very big dogs. 
 

Dirty Uniforms

Isaiah 9:5 (NLT) says, "The boots of the warriors and the uniforms bloodstained by war will be burned.  They will be fuel for the fire."

This is only one verse from a chapter on hope that God offers through the Messiah.  But for some reason, this verse stuck out to me this morning and spoke directly to my heart.

My current battle is emotionally and mentally exhausting.  The enemy, Satan, wants me to give up and surrender in defeat.  He has played mind games in a tug of war for my soul and my marriage.  He wants me as his prisoner. 

I have a great big NEWS FLASH for him...the victory is already mine because of Jesus.  He fought the battle for me and already won.  I just have to wait for further instruction from the One who has gone before me and cleared the path.

I have to say, I have tried to fight this war on my own.  My boots are very dirty and my uniform torn and bloodied from the fight.  I have wounds from this heavy fighting.

God will take the dirty, torn, bloodstained uniform and the nasty, muddy boots and use them to fuel the fire for His glory.  The dirty and stained become a fuel source in the fire that is God's grace.  He will heal the wounds and replace them with mere scars.  Scars that will remind me of where we were,  what we've been through and God's AMAZING rescue. 

I just pictured the war movie where the solitary soldier was left to survive on his own until he could get rescued.  I am sure the soldier had doubts of rescue.  All hope seemed dim.  I have had days when I felt like I have been left alone to survive on my own but that's the enemy trying to win. (Spoiler alert) He is NOT GOING TO WIN! God ALWAYS rescues His people.  We don't have to wonder or worry or have doubt.  Praise God!!!

God promises good to me. "We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 HCSB
God's purpose in letting us go into these battles is to strengthen our faith and trust in Him.  He allows these things in order to bring glory to Himself and His Kingdom.  He uses the the dirty uniforms and boots to keep the fire for Him burning.  After all, everything in this world and in existence is His. 

Snow!!!!!

Today's devotional reading from one of my email subscriptions was about praying with faith like a child.  It went on to talk about how a child prayed for snow and got it.

I have ALWAYS loved snow and have often prayed for it, even this morning after being inspired by the devotional. Then the Holy Spirit went deeper in my thoughts and heart about snow.

All of a sudden I saw the blanket of snow that Jesus covered my sins with.  I turned to Isaiah 1:18 (NLT ) and read this verse: "Come now, let's settle this," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool."

Snow, the wintery weather kind, covers a multitude of stuff.  One of the reasons I really like snow is the way it covers even the ugliest debris piles.  It makes a covering for all the ugly.  It gives us a blank canvas to marvel at.

Jesus' blood does the same thing.  His blood covers our ugly and makes us white as snow.  It gives us a blank canvas for Him to paint our lives into something glorifying to Him.  It says so, right there in His Word. 

So as I pray for the wintery weather kind of snow, I praise God for the snow He already gave me.  I'm forgiven! Snow is so pretty but even more so when the Holy Spirit speaks to you with that kind of message about it.  He amazes me in every breath. (Insert tears of joy here)

When it snows this year, tell God thank you for answered prayers.  Life is so much better with snow.
That blank, white canvas is a gift from God whether you are speaking literal snow or the sin covering kind.

Fall in love

I don't have a lot to say today but wanted to put this out there.
I often find myself in peaceful one on One worship time with God.  Just me and Him, Him and me, singing and praising.  Sometimes I worship in silence and meditation.

Whatever my form of worship, I always find comfort and joy in those times.  Worship doesn't have to be time set aside, don't misunderstand. It can come in whatever form you find yourself in. But, for the purpose of making my point...I am talking about those extra special times that are completely, 100% set aside for time with God, absolutely no distractions. There is an amazing peace that comes with giving back to the Heavenly Father that gives so much. The intimacy of the moments are often overwhelming to point of tears. 

God blesses me in each breath, each thought, each word, each note that I offer to Him in thanksgiving. He gives something back in those moments that makes me fall in love with Him all over again.  He woos me.

If I praised Him and thanked Him every minute of everyday, I still would not be able to thank Him for all that He has done for me, is doing for me or will do for me in the future.  

Each day, we must learn to completely surrender to His will.  The enemy meets with us everyday and tries to separate us from our Holy Savior but scripture says this: For I am persuaded that not even death or life, angels or rulers, things present or things to come, hostile powers, height or depth, or any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!
Romans 8:38‭-‬39 HCSB. Through worship we are building the bond with Christ that reminds us of who He is and who we are supposed to be.

With the promise of no separation from God, the Holy Spirit can draw us out of dark moments and temptations if we ground ourselves in Him.  It's an amazing place to be and a wonderful feeling of unconditional, unwavering love. 

I just wanted to share a look at what you are missing if you don't worship Christ every chance you get.  Some know the feeling I am talking about.  Some have no idea that it's possible to have a true, deep passionate love with God.  I know I didn't, fully, know until all the distractions and ick were removed from my life.  It's such an amazing place, that place of surrender.

Why are you running?

As I went for my morning exercise, I ran into a flock of guineas.  Most of them quickly jumped a ditch to escape what they perceived as a threat.  No running, just a quick jump. Two of them decided it would be better to run from the perceived threat but stayed directly in front of me.  They were running from me, a lover of birds that would NEVER harm them.  In fact, if one was wounded I would find myself trying to save them.

There are many people that act as the guineas.  When life has a perceived threat, we sometimes run away from God not fully understanding that when we are wounded He wants to save us, heal us-certainly not harm us.  Often, we blame God for the threat or the bad turn of events.

Why is it so difficult to trust God? Why do we fear running to Him and choose, instead, to run from Him? The guineas saw me as a threat.  They SAW. I believe our big issue with running to God is we can't physically see Him.  Are we fearful of His punishment?

Not knowing God and understanding His power, His love, His grace and mercy, can cause us to lack the trust that we should have in Him.  That, my friend, is where faith is so important. 
For we walk by faith, not by sight,
2 Corinthians 5:7 HCSB
It says it right there in God's Word.  Throughout scripture, God shows His presence and power in story upon story.  Faith is believing He can because He says He will.

When we choose to run to Him, He can help us or even carry us through the scary circumstances.  If we choose to run from Him, it shows a lack of faith and can lead to walls in your relationship with Him.  We should want His protection and help in all times but especially when life threatens us. 

Life Raft

If you have ever been on a cruise ship, you probably were aware of the location of life saving devices like rafts and life jackets.  You wouldn't want to get into an emergency situation and not know how to use these things in order to survive.

Throughout my life I have found myself in situations where I didn't know how to use life preservation devices.  I have tried to paddle to safety with no luck because I relied on my own abilities.  I, of course, am speaking of deep rooted knowledge and understanding of God's Word.

As I cruised on the boat called life, I have tried to stay afloat based on the acceptance from everyone and trying to be a people pleaser.  The problem, I have always had...I tried to please the wrong people.

If we learn to be concerned with pleasing God, the rest will fall in place.  He will be, and is, our life raft.  He can carry us through life in the good times and through the emergencies.  We shouldn't live to be accepted by others or to only please others.  In pleasing God, we will learn how to be accepted and please who He wants us to, the way He wants us to.

Only through study of His Word,  prayer and close fellowship with God, will we learn how to reach for Him and not only stay afloat, but weather storms far better than we can on our own.

RAFT-rest assured (through) faith & trust that God will always be there to keep us afloat and carry us to new heights.  We can be secure in knowing that He is with us through the storms that life brings when we rely on His strength and life saving abilities.

Now that it's clear WHO we need to be accepted by, we can live in complete confidence knowing that Satan will not EVER be able to use our need for acceptance or approval against us.  He will try, but reach for Christ.

Your weakness may not be acceptance.  Yours could be anger,  bitterness, lying, hatred.  Whatever your weakness, God wants you to turn to Him for healing and preservation. He will be the RAFT that keeps you floating in His will instead of Satan making you a slave to it.

Satan wants us to be chained to our insecurities and weaknesses causing us to sink.  He wants us to live in the past, be shameful of our mistakes.  God is our RAFT.  He desires for us to rest safely in His arms so that we are free to serve Him with no worries of survival. 

R-rest in His arms knowing He is God
A-be assured that He is bigger than   the storms of this life
F-faith in God takes the pressure off of you and let's God be God
T-trust that He will bring you safely to wherever it is He sees best for you.

Correction...

I always pray that the Holy Spirit will lead me to the scripture that I need for the day.  This morning as I prayed for guidance I was led to Titus 1:13.  I thought I would continue in Ezra, where I started yesterday, but the Holy Spirit led me away. His will, not mine.

Anyway...Titus 1:13 NLT says, "This is true. So reprimand them sternly to make them strong in faith."  If you read it in context, Titus is referring to behaviors of elders. I read the chapter but kept being led back to the one verse.

The Holy Spirit spoke to me through this verse, giving better insight into why trials and tribulation should mean more than suffering and sadness.

God doesn't make us sin. In fact, He tries to guide us, with Holy Spirit power, away from sin and inappropriate behavior, unbecoming of a child of God.  However, we are hard-headed and make mistakes that lead us down the wrong paths. 

When we fall, God wants to help us.  He will reprimand us and try to get us back in full fellowship with Him.  The reprimand is God saying that He disapproves and loves us enough to want to help us. 

We may view God's reprimand as punishment but I don't feel that that is what He wants.  He wants us to understand that He is being corrective with us to save us.  He wants us to be in His will.  He wants us to have faith that He knows best.  (Father Knows Best/wasn't that a tv show? Lol)

If we fail to heed the warning of the reprimand, I believe that God will follow up with punishment.  He has already paid the ultimate price for our sins through death on the cross but He can still punish on this earth in an attempt to bring you back into His will.

Think about it like this...
When we were in school, there were progressive steps in discipline.  If you messed up, the teacher would usually chat with you and tell you how to correct the issue. If the issue persisted, the next step was being issued a demerit.  Then, if you still had a problem with that issue, it usually meant in-school suspension.  Finally, the issue could lead to suspension that made you stay at home or even expulsion.

This system was in place to help you in learning the right way.  The school and teachers did not do all of this to be mean and hateful. They weren't trying to hold you back or make you look bad.  They wanted you to succeed and be the best that you could be.

I truly believe that God does things that way too.  He will do what it takes to make you the best you can be for His Kingdom and His glory. He loves you THAT MUCH!!! If He didn't, He wouldn't have cared enough to pay that huge price that gives you eternal life.

God's already done the "expulsion" part for you-the worst of the correction process.  He has kept us from the burning death of Hell. He wants us to be grateful for the correction He offers us while on earth.  He wants us to tell others about how He made us into a better child for His glory.  Call on Him in the trials and correction to give you strength and wisdom. 

Stir me up!!!!

The Holy Spirit speaks to us through scripture and so I always pray that God leads me to the verses that He has for me each day.  It, very often, takes me reading the same line over and over again to fully get what God is trying to tell me.

This morning I was led to the book of Ezra.  As I began to read, I got to chapter 1 verse 5 (NLT) that says, "Then God stirred the hearts of the priests and Levis and the leaders of the tribe of Judah and Benjamin to go to Jerusalem to rebuild the Temple of the Lord."  The Holy Spirit was speaking very clearly to me.

The Bible says our bodies are temples for God.  "Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit,  who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."  1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT)  With all of this scripture, the Holy Spirit is stirring my heart.  He is drawing me closer to Him. 

Our sin causes us to fall away from where He wants us to be. It destroys the temple that is our body.  God will stir our hearts (Am I the only one that pictures God with a gigantic spoon in His glorious hands?  Insert giggle here) in order to bring us back into His will.  He, essentially, rebuilds the temple when He forgives us and offers grace to a repentant heart. 

When He stirs our hearts, it's our job to recognize it for what it is and ask God to be the contractor for the rebuild.  He gives us a really good blue print called the Bible.

As our temples are rebuilt, the Holy Spirit works from the inside out laying a firm foundation.  If our foundation is not firm, cracks can allow Satan to enter and tamper with the beauty that God intended.  God is the mortar that holds us together firmly, keeping us safe from destruction of the temple that belongs to Him.

As the foundation is laid and when it is complete, we experience a plethora of emotions and feelings that we just have to embrace and enjoy.  And trust me when I say this...it is a roller coaster ride.  But it's normal and good.  Ezra 3:11b-12 says, "Then all the people gave a great shout, praising the Lord because the foundation of the Lord's Temple had been laid. But many of the older priests, Levites, and other leaders who had seen the first Temple wept aloud when they saw the new Temple's foundation." We can see that there can be all kinds of different emotions over rebuilding.
Verse 13 says this, "The joyful shouting and weeping mingled together in a loud noise that could be heard far in the distance."

From this scripture, we can see that it's okay that rebuilding can cause "joyful shouting and weeping".  Let's look at it this way...the Holy Spirit stirs us to be joyful and grateful for goodness of God's grace.  He wants our Temple to have a good foundation. He fixes it and makes it like new, like it was never cracked.  He also stirs sadness and wants us to grieve over the sins that required the correction.  We should also be grateful for that. If we just rejoice over the good, we could forget that the grace is so important.  We grieve over the sins but let them go and live in the forgiveness.  It's all part of the rebuilding of the temple.  Our bodies are God's temple.  His Holy Spirit resides in us.  Don't we want Him to have a good home with a firm foundation?  I know I do.  I know He does-the blueprint says so.

Got it!

This morning as I started my devotional study, I began flipping through my Bible only to have 2 pens fall out.  Then my journal had a pen in it as did my book of eucharisteo.  Pens were everywhere.

When all these pens just started showing up I thought back to my childhood and my grandma.  Grandma Hazel always had tissues tucked everywhere, under cushions, beside cushions, in pockets, in her places that no one should pull tissues from in front of people (I blush).  She always had a tissue if she needed it or if someone else might need one. They would just fall from places.

Grandma and I had that in common. We were also prepared if that one thing in our life was needed.  You never know when you might have a runny nose or want to jot a note. 

(This is going to be a little strange how all of this ties together but go with me here.  When that Holy Spirit puts things on your heart, just know that it's for a reason.)

In Genesis 22, God told Abraham to take his only son, Isaac and offer him as a burnt offering on a mountain.  God was testing Abraham's faith. Abraham, in his obedience, took his son up the mountain and prepared to offer his son up to the Lord.  As a burnt offering, he was going to burn his only son for God. What obedience!

On the way up to the place where the sacrafice was to be made, Isaac asked his dad where the sheep was for sacrifice. Abraham said that the Lord always provides.  Genesis 2:8, "God will provide a sheep for the burnt offering, my son,..." All the while, Abraham knew that he was walking with the sacraficial sheep.

You probably know the end of the story but I will tell it again. It's such a beautiful story of God's provision when His people are obedient and have faith.

As Abraham tied Isaac to the altar, God called out and stopped him.  He provided a ram with his horns stuck in a thicket for the sacrafice.  Amazing!  (A tear-jerker, where's Grandma with her tissue)

I like to have have a pen when I need it, Grandma always wanted a tissue when she needed it. We like to know that we will have what we need.  Even if it's just a pen or tissue.

Abraham had a ram when he needed it. Don't you know he was so grateful that the little ram was just tucked right there for him.  I am sure Isaac was when he found out HE WAS the sacraficial sheep.  He had to be a little concerned when ol' dad started tying him up.  Could you even imagine?!?

I feel a little crazy for pens, tissues and sacraficial rams being tied together but the Holy Spirit used the pens to remind me that God is a provider.  I'm not saying God placed the pens or the tissues, yes HE could have.  BUT My point is...the Holy Spirit provides reminders of God's great provision when He thinks we need them.  The pens reminded me that He is Jehovah Jireh, the God that provides.

While we are usually complacent and take simple things for granted, we need to remember that God provided EVERYTHING we have and He will provide EVERYTHING we need.  The best part is...all we have to do is have faith that He will and be obedient.  And guess what...the things we need will just fall out from places we never expected or are tucked where we just happen to need them to be tucked.

While I am going through a major storm in my life, knowing that Jehovah Jireh has me in His hand makes everything okay.  He PROVIDES the peace in knowing that everything is working to His good.  When He hears me thinking about where I will get the next thing I need or  praying for what I need, he uses pens and memories of Grandma.  That, in itself, is provision when I so needed it.

Praise God for always providing!  Jehovah Jireh

If there is something you need, peace, comfort, financial help, food...whatever it is, have faith that God knows and will provide exactly what you need-when you need it.  Ask in faith, trust and wait.  That sounds so hard to some but knowing how AWESOME God is can make things much easier. 

Hide and Seek

I know we have all played the game of "hide and seek" a million times throughout or lives.  I've played it as a child and, often, played it as an adult with children or even my dog.
We hide, they find-they hide, we find. It's fun and the object is to be found.

I will tell you...the worst opponent to play this game with is God. He never hides and you can't hide from Him.  He ALWAYS knows where you are and what you are doing.  He is always there and easily found. The game should be, more appropriately, called "seek and find". 

If we seek, we find.  However, we have to open our eyes and ears-our hearts, if we really seek Him and want to find Him.  Sure...we know He is always there and that we can call on Him in a time of distress. BUT (I type that with such a loud, stern voice) if we TRULY want to find, we have to TRULY seek.  We have to remove the distractions and the clutter.  We have to remove the guilt and the shame, accept His grace.  We have to let Him take up residency in our lives and hearts.

God doesn't just want to be found.  He wants intimacy with you.  He wants you to know Him and all of His glorious character.  He wants to be present in our lives all the time, not just when we need Him.  The intimacy that is found in true surrender gives way to desire for more, deeper intimacy. Oh, I get chills just thinking about it.

2 Chronicles 15:2 (NLT) says this, "and he went out to meet King Asa as he was returning from the battle. 'Listen to me, Asa!' he shouted. 'Listen, all you people of Judah and Benjamin! The Lord will stay with you as long as you stay with him! Whenever you seek him, you will find him. But if you abandon him, he will abandon you.'"  This is the Spirit of God speaking to Asa through Azariah son of Obed. 

God wants us to seek Him.  You may think He hides because you haven't really looked for Him.  If He hides, it's in plain site and you just need to open those scaled over eyes. I did.  I knew God, loved Him and knew He was there but it wasn't until I really started seeking Him that I found the fullness of intimacy with Him.

I continue to seek more and more of Him.  Daily, He reveals a little more of Himself to me. I delight in the moments that He speaks either through scripture, dreams, meditation, full-surrender worship or whatever means He uses.  I have found that there is no end to the "seek and find" game (if you will). 

I recently read a term that made me think deeper about what God is offering.  It's hyperekperissou hyper meaning exceedingly superabundantly beyond.  God is offering exceedingly superabundantly beyond what you will ever find in this world.  All you have to do is seek Him.  Seek Him and you shall find Him. 

A Bird's Eye View

Tonight I sit with my bird, Doobie, on the bed talking to him like he is my person.  He keeps looking over at the mirror and doing a little chatter thing that birds do when they haven't learned to make actual human words.  He seems to be enjoying the company of the bird he sees.

I quickly say to him, in a jealous tone, "Hey Doobie, focus on me not that other birdie."  I know that parakeets can quickly become attracted to their reflection and soon learn they don't need their owner.

As soon as I said for him to focus on me, the Holy Spirit said the same thing to me.  He reminded me that if I lose focus on Him, the attachment to worldly things, problems, people can, quickly, make me think I dont need Him and shows a lack of faith.

I have been a little burdened with sadness because my past failure repeatedly gets brought to my attention. Satan is trying so hard to make me focus on bad.  There are people that don't understand or have the ability to forgive and extend grace.  Sometimes that person is me.  We can be our own worst enemies.

God keeps reminding me over and over again to "focus on Me and not that other 'birdie'." He wants ALL of us.  He doesn't want your focus to be divided.  Satan will use whoever and whatever he can to try to take your focus off of Christ.  He knows that if we look at ourselves in the mirror long enough, we might lose focus on Christ, giving him an open door.

When we lose focus on God and try to be the focus, we show a lack of faith. God wants us to have faith in Him and Him alone.  Hebrews 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne."

God expects us to keep our eyes on Him and what Jesus did for us.  Our faith needs to be in the One who has already fixed our past.  "Focus on Me, not the other 'birdie'." I know when I do, I have peace...the heavenly kind.  Focus shows faith... faith shows focus. 

Wait just a minute

Patience is not one of my strongest characteristics as is the case of most humans. We grumble and complain about waiting and seems everywhere we go there's waiting to be done.  We can't wait to retire.  We can't wait to grow up.  We can't wait for vacation.  We can't wait, can't wait. 

Without fail, we can count on waiting if we go to a doctor's appointment.  I can't recall a time in my life when I didn't have to wait to be seen.  If we are really feeling ill, the wait seems to triple.  Am I right? One things for sure, I have often complained about the wait.  Maybe I didn't complain to anyone but me, BUT still it was complaining.

This is no different with waiting on God.  We are impatient and find it uncomfortable to wait on God to do things in our lives.  He is The Doctor/Healer who has the solution to every problem, the cure for every illness...in fact...has already fixed the problem before we even knew we had it.  WHY do we complain when we have to wait on Him?  Why complain if we know He is going to make things better in His own time?

C.S. Lewis wrote, "...I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait."  He's speaking of doctrines and stuff but the point is the same.  God has a purpose in our waiting.

We often hear people say that they are afraid to pray for patience because we will get more waiting.  Lol.  But, we can rest knowing that the One who knows what is going to happen next...has it under control.

"Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. " (Romans 8:18 NLT)  This verse alone, makes me okay with waiting on the Lord.  If God is having us wait, there is certainly a good reason for it.  Exercise patience-After all, it is a fruit of the Spirit and the reward is going to be well worth waiting for.

Awake at midnight

Early in my current storm, I found myself awake at midnight over-thinking things and struggling with emotions that wouldn't settle.  I, all of a sudden, got this message in my head and on my heart.  I felt it had to be from the Holy Spirit.  I sat up and wrote it down.

As I was cleaning some cabinets this morning, I came across the journal I started in 2014 and continued writing in when this storm hit hard in September of 2016.  I have never been much on journaling but am so glad I am now. 

Anyway, I want to share what was on my heart that midnight as I sat, hurting in my bed.  If the dates are correct, it would have been written 3 days after the true storm hit.  It's not poetry or fancy stuff but God speaking to me when I needed a friend.

"It's midnight in my heart right now but I know dawn is just moments away.  God has my heart and He has my hand. For Him and Him alone I will take a stand.  I'll weather this storm with Him in control. No doubt, I'll be better for it and be able to give Him the glory. God is loving, merciful and forgiving. He will defeat the enemy for me.  I don't have to be the fighter in this fight. I don't have to be in darkness, even, at midnight."

I am not a writer and certainly not trying to be.  However, I knew it was important to write this down because I knew I would someday, today, look back at it and PRAISE God for giving me such peaceful thoughts as the darkness was trying to hide the light.  The enemy wants us to linger in hurt and guilt.  He wants our eyes focused on pain and sorrow. 

I have done a great deal of praying in my life, especially beginning the first part of 2016 but nothing like I started on September 23rd, 2016. 
I pray ALOT! I know without a doubt that I had prayed for peace in that dark midnight.  It was midnight in my soul feeling like life was too hard to handle.

This is just another story of God answering prayers. He put light in that dark moment. He gave me hope through my thoughts.  When the Holy Spirit lives in us, He shines through us-even in the dark of midnight.  God brought peace in a moment when I couldn't find any on my own.  He loves us so much and gives us what we need whether we deserve it or not. 

"Even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. " Psalm 139:12

Just a note...I am so glad that I journal.  There are so many treasured moments that God has blessed me with, I want to remember them all.

The blame game

From the beginning of time humans have found someone to blame when something goes wrong.  Genesis 3 tells the story of Adam and Eve going against God’s instruction in the Garden of Eden. 

As we recall the story, Eve blames the serpent for tempting her to eat the forbidden fruit.  When God confronts Adam, he blames Eve for tempting him to partake.  Everybody blamed someone else.

We are always trying to find someone or something to blame when things go wrong.  Even as children, we blame our siblings or sometimes even make- believe friends.

Eve was, in fact, tempted by Satan and Adam by Eve.  There is no disputing that.  However, God created us with our own minds and our own free will.  We can be tempted but how we deal with the temptation is up to us. Jesus was perfect and still wasn't free from being tempted by Satan (Matthew 4).  Although Jesus never fell to temptation, he was not immune from it.

God doesn't allow more temptation  than we can handle with His help.  All we have to do is call on Him.   I have found myself calling on Jesus, in the moment I am being tempted, and am immediately released from it. There are other times that I wished I had trusted enough to call on Him and tried to trust my own strength. Epic fail, I might add.

There may be circumstances that lead us to the sin but WE are ultimately responsible when we fall into it.  If you look back to where you stumbled, you might be able to easily say that you fell because someone else in your life fell short.  Satan will trap us into passing blame so that we won't come clean with God.  Let me let you in on a secret...you can't hide anything from God.  Confessing to God, bowing in repentance, brings us into closer fellowship-a more intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father.

Although someone might have had a part in your sin (can take some blame, if you will) whether it's a spouse, friend, Satan-God expects us to call on His strength to avoid the fall.  He set us apart to be so focused on Him that we don't have room left for falling for Satan's schemes.  As God's child, we have a higher standard to live by if we are trying to be like Jesus.  We can't be responsible for what someone else did or didn't do that led you into being sinful.  We have to BE who God wants US to BE!

But let me say this...
God knows we are not perfect and that temptation will sometimes cause us to fall in our weakness.  He promises that He will love us the same if we ask for forgiveness and turn away.  He redeems us and can use the fall to strengthen us for the next time we are tempted-seduced by Satan.  He can turn the weakness into strength.  If you let him, Satan will use the weakness against you, over and over, until you do surrender it to God. Don't let Satan win!

We have to be who God wants us to be, individually, so that we can win the battle against temptation.  When it would be so much easier to point fingers, we have to have the courage to take credit for falling so that God can heal us of the cracks in our  foundation.  God has a special putty called GRACE that He can put on those cracks.

Studying God's Word, praying, fellowship with true God-fearing believers and having an accountability partner are ways to beat Satan at this game of temptation.  Calling on the name of Jesus is the greatest weapon you can use against him. 

I pray that you will get to know God intimately so that you feel secure enough to call on Him when you face your next battle with temptation.  If you fail, call on God to help with revovery. He is a number one Healer.
 

Let's get fed

One of my favorite songs for a long time is "Hungry" by Kathryn Scott.  The lyrics are:
Hungry, I come to you
For I know You satisfy
I am empty, but I know
Your love does not run dry

So I wait for You
I’m falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus, You’re all this heart is living for

Broken, I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary, but I know
Your touch restores my life

I can't tell you how many times I have sang that song or heard that song and really not felt the meaning deep in my heart.  Sure, it meant something, otherwise I wouldn't have sang it but this morning...it touched the very deepest part of my soul.

I've never gone hungry to the point of starving in literal terms. However, we have all gotten to the point where we were so hungry we felt like we were going to die, figuratively speaking, if we didn't get something to eat.

When we get physically hungry,  we find something to eat.  When I was a kid and was sent to my room without dinner because I misbehaved, I would get desperately hungry enough that I would eat sunflower seeds out of my cocktail's cage.  Ha! How silly is that??  But desperate times call for desperate measures.

Over the last several months I have become so hungry.  This hunger hasn't been from a physical place but an emotional, spiritual place.  I started feeling so empty and desperate. 

Matthew 4:1-4 KJV says this, "Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil.  And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.  And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.  But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God."

If we are to live like Jesus, God has to lead us in that direction.  He "sends us to our room withput dinner when we misbehave." I truly believe God allowed me to be drawn into darkness, by my own free will, so that I would get hungry.  It wasn't until all the earthly stuff, the clutter, the distractions were removed that I began getting truly hungry.  I had to get stripped and real with God.

I am positive that Satan had every intention of watching me starve to death during this ordeal.  Ha! Joke's on him!!!! The Holy Spirit just made me hungrier for spiritual food. Satan's plan backfired.  That makes me giggle.  Team God- 1, Team Satan- 0

I find myself with a deep desire, through the struggle of brokenness, to seek out the food-God's Word.  I no longer go hungry.  God satisfies the hunger with His loving arms wrapped, tightly around me.  I have learned to offer ALL of me instead of just the parts that need Him.  My entire body, heart, mind and soul crave Him.  It's a good hunger, not a needy one.

God wants to fill our hunger and all we have to do...offer ALL to Him. 
He can restore us through the fulfillment of the hunger for Him.

Faith like a child

As a child I always knew that everything was going to be ok.  If I got hurt there was usually someone right there to pick me up, clean me off and tell me it's ok.  I, also knew, I would never go hungry or without what I needed for survival.

As an adult, well, I fall and it seems there is no one there to pick me up, dust me off and say it's going to be ok.  I try to make my way and can't always find it.  I struggle and complain and even get grumpy.

The difference is, a child looks up to adults to fulfill their needs.  They are little and everything is so big in that world.  It's just natural for children to expect that things will be taken care of because they haven't learned to take care of themselves.  That is childlike faith.  A faith that is effortless because they trust completely and don't rely on their own understanding or abilities.

Psalm 116:6 NLT says, "The Lord protects those of childlike faith; I was facing death, and he saved me."
Do you see where I'm going with this?  As adults, we tend to look to our own abilities to get through trials and life.  We are too busy looking to us...to see Him.  We don't look from the childlike prospective to see just how BIG God really is.

God wants us to look to Him as a child looks to their parents.  Children have a natural faith in their parents because they trust them. They have no reason not to. 

Why don't we have that same childlike faith in God?  He has proven over and over that He is faithful and will take care of us.  Just because we don't stop and take notice of what He's done or is doing doesn't mean He isn't there doing it. 

Scripture makes it clear that we should live with childlike faith so that trials and life don't have to depress us or drive us insane.  God wants us to enjoy life and learn from the things we view as storms.  Those storms, that we hate, are life lessons God is using to teach His children.  A childlike trust in God will lead us to expect the unexpected and to fully trust that we will be taken care of.

 

LIKE Jesus not BE Jesus

As I struggle this morning with my past failures and the failures of others in my life, I cry out to Jesus and ask Him to help me let go of the struggle. I want to be cleaned of the self-defeat and the ill feelings towards the ones I feel have wronged me.  Most of the ill feelings come from the expectations I have of them.

I have discovered, through Holy Spirit conviction, that I have been comparing myself and others to Jesus.  I think that because I want to be LIKE Him and I want the others in my life to be LIKE Him, that we are supposed to BE Him.

The Holy Spirit quickly scrubbed me down with what felt like a scrub brush to my soul.  It was a down right nasty feeling of tearing away the old and replacing with new thoughts.  A feeling that immediately cleared the word struggle from the moment's vocabulary.

God spoke to me and said that I am to love LIKE Jesus, live LIKE Jesus, forgive LIKE Jesus, see others LIKE Jesus does.  Not once did I ever read or hear Him say that we are to BE Jesus.

In essence, my way of thinking has been judgmental and a level of idolatry.  Clearly, God doesn't want us to be LIKE that.  Throughout His Word, God gives clear instructions of how we are to become more LIKE Jesus.  If He wanted us to BE Jesus, we wouldn't have needed Jesus to save us from ourselves. 

If God intended for the ant to do the job of an eagle, we wouldn't need an eagle.  My point and I believe that of the Holy Spirit's conviction today...everyone has their place according to God's will.  Jesus was the only perfect One to ever walk this earth. We fail in order to learn and find our place in the furtherance of God's Kingdom.  While we should strive to be more LIKE Jesus, it is not our job to BE Jesus or judge others who aren't either.

Race car driver continued...

Yesterday the Holy Spirit laid the race car driver/spotter analogy on my heart.  This will mean something in just a minute. Read on.

I awoke this morning with sadness as I reflected on the last 3 months of my life.  I have missed out on 3 months of my marriage that I can never get back.

I prayed for God to relieve the sadness and speak peace over me. 

This is what happened next...
I started reading a devotional from Dr. Charles Stanley that was for January 1st titled "Keeping Our Eyes on His Goals."  HA!!! Being that this was the first time this little mailing was opened, I had not seen it until this very moment. I broke the seal on it just before I started reading it.

God spoke to me through this little book this morning in that the scripture reference was Philippians 3:13-15 NLT which says this, "No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you."

God is clearly saying I should look forward and not behind.  He is saying let Him be the spotter and do His job.  If we focus on what we missed, we miss so much more. Listen to THE SPOTTER.  The scripture evens calls this life a race. Notice the bold. Lol. God sees the end of the race and knows which direction you need to go.  He can see better than we can because He has a higher vantage point.  (I just can't make this stuff up.  Truly amazing)

I find the moments of God alignment with what the Holy Spirit lays on my heart truly delightful.  It is confirmation that the Holy Spirit is guiding me. It is also God cheering me up at sad moments because He knows these moments bring me pure joy. 

Happy New Year!!!! May this be a year of eucharisteo (thanksgiving)!